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Melrose Place
[Oakhurst] Amanda shuts the door, as Kyle demands "I want to know what's going on, who was killed, and what my wife has to do with this." Obviously, Kyle's the type who reads those rag papers while waiting at the grocery checkout line. He's got an inquiring mind. Kyle starts for the door, saying he's going to get Peter for story hour unless someone starts talking. Amanda volunteers to tell the whole story, but only in black and white. Eve pouts, saying no one was supposed to know, then sits herself down on the bed and pulls out her barrette, ruining over 3 hours of Amanda's pre-wedding primping. Sigh. Amanda recalls an incident back in high school, on the bleachers of their football field, dressed in a cheerleader's outfit (sporting a big letter "T"), where she was to meet the team's quarterback, a guy named Kent. Kent, it turns out, was Eve's boyfriend, and was the richest, and most conceited (some may argue she's being redundant here) boy at school. Kent tells Amanda he plans on dumping Eve, and then tells Amanda she can have first crack at him. Amanda barfs, then tries to leave. So Kent grabs her, telling Amanda he knows she wants it. Back in color, so as not to confuse the viewers that we're back in the present, Amanda explains that Kent would've raped her, if Eve hadn't shown up. Back to B&W, Eve arrives, also wearing a cheerleaders outfit. One thing's for sure, even in high school those two women had a nice set of "T"s. Eve takes over the storytelling, saying that she then pushed Kent off the bleachers and to his death. Amanda chimes in, almost proudly, "I ran all the way home and hid in my room!" Eve continues, describing how she dragged Kent's body and dumped it in a construction ditch, hoping it would look like an accident. Only there was a witness, and the next day, both she and Amanda were carted off in police cars. Amanda explains that since she was the second richest kid at Harry S. Truman High School, she got good lawyers and beat the rap. Eve, however, became the scapegoat since Kent's parents wanted someone to pay. Eve was made out to be a whore, a gold digger, and the death was labeled as premeditated, that Eve knew Kent was going to dump her and she couldn't take it. In the days when California juries voted "Guilty," Eve was convicted and sentenced to 20 years. However, this being Melrose, those 20 years went by like they were 15, and now all Eve wants is to have a happy life. Kyle remembers about Peter waiting at the altar and says, "Peter has the right to know," then starts to head out to get him. Only Amanda stops him as Eve adds, "And Amanda came to visit me once a month for every one of those 15 years." Kyle finally realizes why Amanda took all those trips to San Francisco, then says, "Peter has the right to know." Amanda explains that Matt found out because he was counseling AIDS victims at the prison and saw her one day. When Kyle figures out what the missing journal page contained, he says, "Peter has the right to know." Hopefully, Kyle isn't getting paid for the number of unique lines he says. Amanda tells Kyle that even she swore to keep Eve's prison ordeal a secret, and ask that Kyle do the same. Kyle refuses until Amanda explains how her involvement in a murder will hurt her reputation and business. Kyle rethinks his position for a second, then says, "All right, I won't say anything." Then he blurts, "Peter has the right to know." Kyle heads downstairs to meet Peter. Peter breathes a sigh of relief saying, "I thought I was going to have a Jane-Michael wedding." Eve struts (hmm, maybe this isn't the best word to use, especially after having just remembered being labeled a whore back in high school) down the aisle. Kyle glances to the side, giving a "Peter has the right to know" look. The wedding is one of the shortest in MP history, since that high school story took up such a big chunk of time.
[Wilshire Memorial] Megan drives Jane to the hospital to meet with Dr. Moore regarding the results of her biopsy. Lucky for Jane that Megan doesn't really do much at work, affording her the luxury of chauffeuring people around instead. Dr. Moore uses a standard medical ploy, informing Jane that the test was inconclusive, and suggests more extensive, and expensive tests/operations be performed. Dr. Moore feels, of the three possible Cleaver tests, i.e., the Wallyectomy, Lumpectomy, or Beaverectomy, she feels the Lumpectomy would be the most appropriate. This involves removing all the cancerous tissue. From there, they can only hope it's benign. Jane requests that Michael not be told. Dr. Moore assures Jane that Michael won't find out about it, saying that Wilshire Memorial is a big hospital.
[Oakhurst] Peter and Eve say good-bye to Kyle and Amanda. As Kyle and Amanda walk to their car, Amanda says, "I know you don't think we did the right thing, but see how happy they are?" Kyle looks, then says, "If there's one thing I know about secrets, they're made for a woman." Peter and Eve kiss and go back upstairs to make music.
[Wilshire Memorial] For being such a *big* hospital, it's amazing how the half-dozen Melrosians always seem to run into each other in the halls. Of course, Jane immediately runs into Michael and the two of them start slinging mud at each other. Megan shows up, holds Jane's hand, and tries to escort her away, leading Michael to jump to the conclusion that the two ex-wives of his are ganging up on him in preparation for the deposition scheduled for tomorrow.
[AWA] For some strange reason, Kyle has Amanda go to the office, against her will, to do some work before they go home. It's definitely sometime in the evening, but apparently, not so late that it's past a baby's bedtime. In fact, when they get there, they find a million screaming babies, twins scattered about the office bullpen. Ryan is busy having the babies fill out applications, then interviewing them for some commercial shoot tomorrow. When one of the babies starts crying, Ryan tries dumping the baby girl off in Amanda's arms, but Amanda backs off. So Ryan drops her in Kyle's lap. Immediately, the baby girl stops crying and starts goo-gooing instead, apparently comfortable in having found someone at the same intellectual level as herself. Amanda looks at Kyle, pleasantly surprised to see how well Kyle and the infant seem to communicate.
[MP, Megan's Apt] Michael shows up, wondering how Megan could take sides against him, after all the things he did for her. Megan assures Michael that she is not taking sides. Michael then asks her what she was referring to when she said Jane was having personal problems. But when Megan refuses to tell him anything, Michael jumps to the conclusion that Jane must be having Alex Bastion's baby, a sonofabastion, so to speak. He freaks out, swearing that Jane won't get a cent from the divorce, forcing Megan to say that Jane is not pregnant. So Michael asks, "Then what is it? I mean, why else do two women hold each other's hands at a hospital?" Considering the hospital is located near the heart of West Hollywood, the answer would be the same as why two men would be seen holding hands. In this case, however, Megan answers, it's because of a breast tumor. Michael becomes concerned, asking what the doctor said. So Megan says again, "It's because of a breast tumor."
[Oakhurst] Peter and Eve head up towards their room. Eve is excited, saying it's their first night as a married couple and she wonders how they can make the night a memorable one. Well, they needed wonder for long, because once they enter their room, the newlyweds find that the tiger skin rug isn't the only skin in front of their fireplace! To their surprise, Lexi is laying there, completely naked! (Well, as naked as is allowable on U.S. television...) Peter grabs Lexi and escorts her outside , where he disposes of her on the front porch of the B&B. Lexi tries blackmailing Peter into divorcing Eve, reminding him that she knows he was responsible for Amanda's kidnapping. Only this causes Peter to grab her, push her up against the building, and saying, "If I had Amanda kidnapped, what do you think I could have done to you? Believe me, I'll do it." Peter runs back upstairs to comfort Eve, telling here they'll never have group sex, i.e., promising nothing will ever come between them.
[Flavor Fun Baby Group] Ryan and Amanda are just leaving the Flavor Fun Baby Group building. As they approach the parking lot, Ryan asks her where her head is, since it was obviously not concentrating on the $500k account. Amanda admits that although big juicy accounts used to turn her on, lately it's been time spent with Kyle that gets her excited. As she says this, she takes a step off the curb. At the same moment, a U.S. Postal truck comes speeding around the corner and nearly flattens Amanda thinner than a postage stamp. Luckily, Ryan sees the truck and pulls her back out of harms way. The driver of the mail truck slams on his... horn (in L.A., you hit the horn, not the brakes) as it zooms past. Amanda, breathing heavily, hair tossed, and barely able to stand, may have found yet a third way reach climax.
[Divorce Deposition] Jane's lawyer finishes presenting Jane's case. Michael's lawyer is there, but not Michael. But the doc arrives soon thereafter, apologizing for being held up at the hospital. Michael admits to every accusation brought forward by Jane's lawyer, while Michael's lawyer can only sit there and cringe. Jane finally realizes what's going on, and asks to speak with Michael in private. Jane tells Michael that they're going through with the divorce, and that she's going to beat him fair and square.
[Upstairs] Special Musical Guest: Jon Ernst. Lexi is at the bar, taking over the seat of sorrow, recently left vacant by Peter. Kyle cuts her off, suggesting she have some coffee instead, so that she can become an alert drunk and then try to drive home. Lexi, exiled from the bar, then heads towards the band and starts verbally harassing Jon Ernst, who is actually given a few lines to say. Suggestion: Stick to singing, if that. Seeing Ernst speaking makes even Andrew Shue seem worthy of an Emmy. Lexi climbs up on stage denounces Love, just as Megan arrives, giving her something to smile about. Lexi then proceeds to fall off the stage, so Ryan picks her up like a sack of potatoes and carries her out. Only, instead of carrying her directly to the parking lot via the main entrance to the club, Ryan decides to carry her down the stairs into the main restaurant, Kyle's. Despite Ryan telling Megan she needs him, Megan tells him she's doing just fine. But moments later, when Lexi topples over the downstairs bar, Megan says, "Okay, I do need you." Ryan springs to attention, but then realizes Megan simply means she needs help getting Lexi home.
[Lexi's Marina Condo] Ryan helps Megan get Lexi back to the condo. Then, as Megan and Ryan argue about who should stay with Lexi, Lexi sneaks out to her balcony, climbs the rail, and screams for help, saying "He's going to get me!" Megan is confused, so the drunken Lexi explains that Peter threatened to have her extinguished, even though her only crime was loving him. Ryan pulls Lexi down, and Lexi thanks him for saving her.
[MP, Amanda & Kyle's Apt] Amanda calls the club, asking for Kyle, but he's not there. She can't understand, since Kyle swore that he'd be there the entire night. But before she can hang up, Kyle walks in the door. She's so relieved to see him, and tells him she feels like she's having a panic attack. Amanda tells Kyle about her postage stamp incident. Kyle gets a couple of "Wuh's?" out of his mouth before Amanda says that she thinks it's a sign, just like the scene with Kyle and the baby was a sign. Kyle gets out another "Wuh?" Then Kyle says, "I'll get the place nice and cozy, while you slip into something sexy." Amanda heads to the bedroom to change, and Kyle grins, knowing once she slips into something sexy, he won't be long until he slips into something sexy, too. Suddenly, Amanda cries out, "Oh my God!," the way you'd say if you saw a mouse or ran out of birth control pills! Amanda says this is another sign. She smiles and says it's baby making time. Of course, this was already on Kyle's mind. He takes Amanda into the bedroom, and spends the rest of the night slipping in and out of something sexy.
[Lexi's Marina Condo] The next morning, Ryan and Megan wake up side-by-side on Lexi's couch. Their bodies are oh-so sore from sleeping together, but it's from the size of the couch rather than from any sort of strenuous activity the night before. Lexi stumbles out from her bedroom, thanking them for being there for her. She swears that from now on, she's going to concentrate solely on business, not men. Strictly money, power, and success. In other words, she's going back to being the old Lexi.
[Pacific Coast Highway, near Kanan Rd] Kyle and Amanda are cruising down the coast in his Dodge Durango on their way to a picnic. It's sort of sad that in order to have a picnic in Southern California, one must drive for a couple of hours. Kyle tells Amanda he thinks they should have 6 kids, and he starts naming them off... Betty, Barney... but he's rudely interrupted by his engine as it starts knocking. Apparently, Kyle forgot that vehicles don't work like they do on The Flintstones, and his truck comes to rest by the side of the road, out of gas. His Dodge is now just a measly FORD (Found On Road Dead), so he and Amanda get out of the car. Fortunately, they stalled along a beautiful seaside landscape. Amanda asks Kyle, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking of?" Kyle hopes it's baby-making time again, but Amanda has other ideas, saying this would be the perfect place for them to build their dream house. Then Kyle looks over towards some shrubbery, where he sees a For Sale sign. Kyle finally gets it and is all to eager to finally get to say, "It's a sign!" Their excitement turns to grief when they see that the asking price for just the property is $400,000. Kyle starts whining, wondering how people like themselves, who own an advertising agency, an apartment complex, a successful restaurant, as well as a popular nightclub, can barely make ends meet. Oh, the humanity.
[Oakhurst] Peter takes Eve down the B&B wine cellar, where he plans to romance her. The only problem is, the cellar is well protected with sets bars, both on the windows and doors, causing Eve to have flashbacks of prison. Eve breaks out in a cold sweat, and then says she's got to get out of there. She tries to escape, but the bar door won't open, at least by shaking it the way she used to in jail. Peter shows her the door knob, and how it works. She runs out to the garden, out of breath. She says she felt trapped, like she was being locked up and the key thrown away. Peter holds her, despite knowing any hopes of using the set of handcuffs he has back home have just been dashed.
[Upstairs] Lexi drops by the club to apologize to Kyle and Amanda, and promises that she's going to change. She leaves, and Kyle asks Amanda, "Do you believe any of that?" All I know is Lexi sure looked well-dressed, and must've spent hours primping for a 20 second appearance at the club to apologize.
[MP, Jane's Apt] Michael comes over to see how Jane is doing on the eve of her operation. She can't even have a glass of wine since the operation is in the morning, causing her to start crying, and she asks him to hold her. Michael spends the night.
[Ocean side Property] Kyle is standing around on the beach front property when a big bad black limo pulls up and an old geezer crawls out. He informs Kyle that he's trespassing. Kyle introduces himself as the guy who made that ridiculously low bid on the property earlier that day. Mr. Hadley tells Kyle he rejected that offer. Kyle asks, "You don't believe in signs?" Hadley looks at Kyle the way Kyle looked at Amanda whenever she mentioned the subject. When Kyle tells Hadley the story about Amanda and the postal truck, Hadley grumbles, "I bought this property for my wife. To build a dream house. Only she got run over the day we were supposed to break ground." Then, in this scene, Kyle pulls his weekly McBridism, when he looks around, seeing nothing more than a few planted shrubs and dirt and asks, "Did you ever build it?"
[Sterling-Conway Enterprises] Lexi orders Julie to send a bouquet of flowers to Amanda's office, with a card saying she's looking forward to being friendly competitors. When Julie chirps, "So it is true! You buried the hatchet?" Lexi replies, "I tried. Let's hope she bought it. After all, you know what they say -- It's easier to get close enough to stab a friend than it is an enemy." Since everybody else has their personal secrets, Lexi tells Julie this will be theirs. Meanwhile, Megan is still working diligently, when she gets a call from Ryan, who's still at work at AWA. He tells Megan he was going to take a dinner break and would like for her to join him. She giggles, then declines. She keeps his hopes up, among other things, by saying maybe next time. He says good-bye. She hangs up the phone, then says, "Good night." You'd think being a call girl, that she'd know how to use a phone, but it just goes to show you, with Megan, you can't take anything for granted.
[Ocean side Property] Kyle's sitting around playing squatter on Hadley's property. Amanda drives up, wondering why Kyle had wanted her to meet him there. Did he also tell her to wear her black leather jacket, like the one he's wearing, so they could be twinsies? Kyle, finally getting into this talk about "signs," uses his flashlight to "accidentally" light up the For Sale sign. Only now, there's a big SOLD sticker on it. Amanda gasps, then says it wasn't meant to be. Kyle continues rambling about the Sold sign, saying "It's a sign, then it's a sign..." Amanda suggests they leave, anything to shut Kyle up. Only now he's on a roll. He turns on the headlights to his car, which light up another sign he had made which reads, "Welcome Home, Amanda." Underneath it is a candlelit table for two. He tells Amanda they were the right couple at the right time. Plus, he figures the club will bring in some extra money when Hanson plays there in a few weeks. Amanda is ecstatic, as measured by the loudness of her "Whoopee!"
[Wilshire Memorial] Michael stops by Jane's room, and congratulates her on the good news, that she has a clean bill of health. He brings her flowers. Michael confesses that all their pettiness has to end, knowing that the two of them are meant to be together, something he realized after spending last night with her. Only Jane still wants to split up. She thanks him, however, for being a "friend." Only this drives Michael berserk, and he promises to wipe her out, to smear her good name, to make her wish she never met him. But he does leave her the flowers. :-)
[MP, Peter & Eve's Apt] Eve and Peter are sleeping when Eve hears a knock at the door. She gets up to go answer it, and as she approaches, more strange sounds than any apartment building that I've ever lived in can be heard, not to mention the heavy beating of a heart. Eve turns towards the window in the living room, then pulls open the shades. Before her is the gross face of a zombie-like creature in a letterman jacket, and in a beautiful Freddy Kruger voice it says, "BITCH!" With that, Elm screams and wakes up, realizing all she had was simply a nightmare on Eve street.
[To Be Continued...] Last Modified December 1, 1998 |
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