|
|
|
|
|
Melrose Place
[MP Courtyard] The paramedics wheel Peter away, a super big Band-Aid stuck to his right titty area from the gunshot wound, inflicted by Amanda. Amanda wants to ride in the ambulance, and turn on the siren, but the detective tells her she'll have to do that some other day. Tonight, the plainclothes man wants to detain her in order to get just the facts regarding this incident. Meanwhile, another cop takes Kyle and Ryan back upstairs, where they can give their complete statements. Amanda explains that she keeps a registered handgun in her apt for protection, although locking her front door every now and then as a means of protection never really crossed her mind before. The detective asks, "And you stated that this victim, Dr. Burns, is an acquaintance of yours -- friend, business associate?" (Just think what she must do to her enemies!) Amanda replies, "Ex-husband, actually." The detective jots some jots down in his teeny tiny notepad and says, "I see," as if this fact makes it almost justifiable. Upstairs, Kyle is practically crying that he doesn't know why Amanda's ex was upstairs in their bedroom, adding that Peter just saved her life from some kidnappers. The cop gives Kyle a dirty look as if appalled and disgusted that there was a kidnapping and LA's finest weren't even contacted. They take Amanda down to the station, where they have larger notepads for larger questions.
[Wilshire Memorial] Peter arrives at Wilshire Memorial and is wheeled into ER on a gurney. One thing's for sure, ambulance service in this part of town is stellar! Michael runs up and yells some out medical gibberish, including "STAT" every now and then. George Clooney couldn't have done better. Peter is barely conscious, yet he knows the worst is yet to come, considering he's going to be operated on in Wilshire Memorial, the hospital where the saying goes, "It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to check-in here." Compound that with the fact that Michael's going to do the operation, and you can imagine how anxious Peter must be feeling at this moment. Knowing this may be his last episode, he tosses his head to and fro looking for someone to confess his sins to. Just then, Peter's psychiatrist, Dr. Visconti, runs up to Peter's side, telling Peter he heard the scuttlebutt in the parking lot and just had to see what stiff they were bringing in this time. Peter, in between gasps, confesses to the shrink that he was the one who set up Amanda's kidnapping and ransom, in order to be the one who rescued her. Michael runs over and asks Dr. Visconti, "Did he say anything? Is he conscious?" Visconti replies, "He tried." Whether that meant, tried being conscious, Michael doesn't care to find out. He's in such a hurry he doesn't even want to take an X-ray either. They wheel Peter away. No matter what suspense they try to muster up here, however, I just have a feeling Peter will make it.
[Later, Peter's Room, Wilshire Memorial] Peter opens his eyes and sees what he describes as an "angel," or at least someone who could pass as one on a Victoria's Secret commercial. It turns out his apparition is only Amanda, who tells Peter she's the one responsible for his new .38 mm air hole. Amanda says she heard a noise, which scared her. Amanda tells Peter that the whole world wants to know why he was in her bedroom., so Peter explains that he was going over to apologize for being such a nuisance, when he "...heard a noise coming from the bedroom. So... your mind thinks all kinds of things." Whether it was the hero or the voyeur in him, something made him go inside. Then, Peter comes up with the lame suggestion that it could've even been the kidnappers again, and Amanda realizes Peter was just trying to protect her, and she ended up shooting him. Now she's even more grateful. She asks what she can do, other than promising never go to a firing range and learning how to really shoot that pistol of hers. Peter just smiles. She leaves Peter and goes into the hall, where she finds Kyle and Ryan waiting. She tells Kyle Peter thought he saw someone breaking into their apt and simply went to investigate. Kyle asks her if Peter mentioned anything about the journal, since it was laying on the floor in the same position as Peter. Amanda says she probably left it there. Had Kyle known leaving books on the floor was one of her vices, he just might have not married her. Then Amanda realizes she doesn't know the young stranger standing next to Kyle, sporting the same ad hoc haircut as her husband. Kyle introduces Ryan. Amanda says she wants to stay at the hospital for awhile longer, so Kyle takes Ryan out to show him the town. Which isn't much, considering there's only one place to go hear music (Upstairs), one place to eat (Kyle's the Restaurant), and one place to work (Amanda Woodward Advertising). Meanwhile, in another hospital wing, Jane accidentally brings up the Alex Bastion thing again with Michael, who reminds her that even Monica had enough scruples to know when to stop. He decides this is the time to tell Jane he's going to save Megan from the dire straits of living a life in a trailer park. He tells Jane the time away from each other will do them good.
[The Lewis Ranch (aka, Trailer Park?)] Megan arrives by taxi to a large estate, which could give Scarlett's Tara a run for its money. All the sounds of nature are present, from birds chirping in the trees to the horses farting in the green pastures. Megan approaches a man she addresses as daddy, dressed up like General Grant sitting on the stoop of the mansion. He doesn't acknowledge her, but continues his watch. Then another voice sounds, saying "Megan, it really is you!" It's Megan's mother, who looks like she's about to burst into a chorus of "I Think I Love You." Mommy Partridge, as Megan likes to refer to her mommy, is so happy to see Megan after all these years. They hug. We sigh.
[Upstairs Jazz Club Office] Kyle takes Ryan up to the office and shows him the club's ledgers, telling him it's all in red ink. Ryan assures his big bro that their are all sorts of ways around cash flow problems, triggering a brain cell in Kyle's head about Ryan being a Wall Street Whiz. Ryan tells Kyle that he lost his job, either due to finking on his partner for setting up bogus accounts, or recommending people buy Amazon.com stock when it was $135/share. In any case, no one in the Financial District will touch him now. With no where else to go, Ryan figured he would relocate to L.A. and start fresh as a pan handler. Kyle suggests Ryan move into his old apt since he no longer uses it. Then the answering machine beeps, and Kyle call screens, listening to Amanda say she's still at the hospital looking after Peter. Kyle groans, and super sleuth brother Ryan says, "You don't like this guy Peter much, do you?" Yes folks, yet another male to join the cast, who obviously participated in one too many frat parties during college.
[The Lewis Ranch] Megan and her mother take a stroll and talk about the past. How appropriate that they walk through the stables of the mustang ranch just as Megan's career as a prostitute comes up. Mommy Partridge tells Megan they knew all along about her career as a hooker; her reputation was "widespread." They had hired an investigator, who reported back to them the news. Her mother adds, "Oh, by the way, your father had a stroke one hour after hearing the investigator's report. But the important thing is, you're back here now to stay."
[Wilshire Memorial] Lexi, carrying some flowers for Peter, runs into Amanda in the hallway, and the two begin what apparently is going to become a regular staple on the show: Cat fight of the Week. With jabs so fast, even Tyson would be floored before he could get a bite in, Lexi and Amanda go at round two. Round One last week went to Lexi: 10-9. This round I would say, again scored 10-9 in Lexi's favor. But stay tuned, for this 12-round bantam weight championship has a lot of fighting still left to go. Amanda leaves and Lexi heads towards Peter's room (#4217 for those interested in compiling MP trivia). Meanwhile, Peter is engaged in a very heated conversation with his Italian cookie, Dr. Visconti. Peter makes him swear never to tell a soul about his confession. Visconti replies, "Yes, I understand, but..." Peter cuts him off yelling, "No butts here!!!" (Little does Peter know that it's Lexi's butt that will be Visconti's downfall.) Peter repeats to Visconti, "If Amanda ever found out what I confessed to you... Well believe me, it would be a very bad thing." Of course, neither of these men had the gumption to close the door to the room completely, while discussing such a delicate matter. Needless to say, Lexi finds herself in such a position to overhear this bit about Visconti knowing a secret, a secret which must be kept from Amanda. Lexi makes her entrance and says to Louis Visconti, ever so sarcastically, "You were such a help to Peter during his confused days," prompting Visconti to exit, stage right. She asks Peter what it was like almost dying; if he saw his whole life flash before him. Peter answers, "It was more like being flushed down the toilet." So Lexi, on a roll, says "You know what they say, flush twice, it's a long way to hell."
[The Lewis Ranch] Michael is parked at the front of the Lewis property, looking at a map, when Mommy Partridge comes down to get the mail. Michael asks her for some help (How fake! Men don't ask for directions...), saying he's trying to find the trailer park where the Lewis family is. Mrs. Partridge tells Michael he's at the right place, but that no Lewis ever lived in a trailer park. She huffs, although the sound may have emanated from the horse that Megan's on as she rides up to where Michael and Mommy Partridge are standing. Megan asks what the hell Michael is doing there, to which Mrs. Lewis answers, "He's trespassing." Megan then informs her mommy that Michael is her ex-husband, and a doctor to boot. So, without the slightest change in facial expression (probably due to excessive makeup causing caking), Mrs. Lewis says, most unconvincingly, "Nice to meet you" and heads back towards the house with her Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes mailer. Michael's jaw is dragging on the ground, so Megan says to him, "Close you mouth Michael, the flies are huge around here." Yeah, and they match their attitudes.
[Wilshire Memorial Hallway] Ryan tracks down Amanda, who must be getting in people's way at the hospital by now. He asks her if he can move into Kyle's old bachelor pad. Then he tells Amanda she isn't very smart letting her ex-husband live in the same complex as her and Kyle. Ryan, standing surprisingly erect, then compares her marriage to Kyle with his previous marriage to Taylor. This doesn't go over too well with Amanda, who tells him to butt out of their life.
[Wilshire Memorial, Visconti's Office] Lexi opens the door to Dr. Visconti's office, wearing a short black dress with one slit higher than her other. She starts talking with a southern belle dialect, asking if the doctor can help her with her problem. A smiling (and drooling) Dr. Visconti takes one look at the Sterling goddess and springs to attention, hoping her problem has something to do with high riding thongs. Unfortunately, she tells him her problem is that she has a crippling love for Peter, even though he dumped her. She props herself on his desk, her legs flailing out from the flimsy black piece of material mistakenly called a skirt, and says she has questions that need answering, like, "Why did Peter dump me? Is Amanda the only woman for Peter? Why am I talking like I'm from Georgia?" "These are complex issues" quips Visconti. He wants to set up an appointment, but Lexi is apprehensive seeing him here in the hospital, so close to Peter, so she suggests a better place -- Chez Marina. Tomorrow night at 7:30.
[Kyle's the Restaurant] Jane and Amanda share a pot of tea. Amanda brings up Alex Bastion, telling Jane that her former lover has been a world renown fashion designer, and how she's tried unsuccessfully to land his account for the past two years. She proposes to Jane, that if Jane can get Alex Bastion, Amanda will give her 25% of the gross. Jane figures, Alex is probably gay now, since he's become such a wonderful designer, making the task even more daunting. Still, Jane accepts the challenge.
[The Lewis Ranch] Michael and Mrs. Lewis are enjoying a stroll in the moonlight, amidst the horse pies along a dirt road. "I love this spread Mrs. Lewis," Michael chirps. Of course, that's the same line he used to say to Megan back during her days as a call girl. Mommy Partridge asks for Michael's help in convincing Megan to stay.
[MP, Amanda & Peter's Apt] Amanda arrives home, finding Kyle sitting alone on the couch in front of a chess board. Amanda detects Kyle's depressed and asks him what's wrong. Could it be he's upset because Amanda supposedly left the club over an hour ago, but didn't get home until now? Or, that Ryan said he felt Amanda and Kyle's marriage was in constant turmoil? Or could it be because he's been playing chess against himself but keeps losing? Amanda mentions that Ryan hunted her down at the hospital earlier that day and had lots to say about her relationship with Peter.
[MP, Ryan's Apt (Formerly Kyle's)] When Amanda heads for the shower, Kyle heads for Ryan's. Kyle tells Ryan the Peter-Amanda-Kyle thing is none of his beeswax, and knows, whenever there's a lack of problems in Kyle's life, that Ryan will do whatever it takes to stir some up. Then Ryan tries to turn the tables on Kyle, crying that daddy liked Kyle better because he was a jarhead, while Ryan took the easy way out and went to college to get his B.S. in Alcoholism. Ryan pouts, then plays his trump card, threatening to move out, but the finesse goes sour and Kyle says, "Good."
[Alex Bastion's House] Jane pays Alex a visit at his house, which is reeling with models, camera crews, etc. Jane sees Alex and introduces herself. He's very cold to her, as though he doesn't care for her gender anymore. She tries to make her pitch, but when she says "I work for AWA, AWA, AWA," it simply sounds like she's stuttering and Alex tells her to leave. With the look of a jilted lover, Jane does an about face and exits the house as quickly as she can. Then a strange thing happens. Alex chases her down in the front yard, calling out her name. He apologizes for being such a bitch, but that so many of his old college acquaintances have approached him trying to sell things that he's simply sick. He tells Jane he already has an advertising firm. Then he poses like Mr. GQ against the side of his car, reinforcing my intuition about him, as Jane putts away in her little VW Beetle.
[The Sterling Ranch] The town doctor finishes up his house call with Mr. Sterling. Michael walks the doctor out to his truck, who seems to be in an awful hurry. Michael is curious about what really caused Megan's father's stroke, saying, "They told me it was stress related, some sort of psychological trauma. The doctor looks at Michael somewhat dumbfounded and says, "Is THAT what they told you?" Michael nods affirmatively, forcing the doctor to give Michael a piece of advice. "I never get involved in family affairs" he says, adding "Neither should you, doctor." Then the doctor jumps into his Chevy Suburban and heads to a neighboring ranch where he's scheduled to perform a horse enema.
[MP Courtyard] Ryan catches Amanda in the courtyard and hands her the keys to the apartment. Pouting the whole time, Ryan tells her he's off to New York. Then the sad sack face hands her the ledgers to the club, telling her, as long as they follow the business plan he laid out, they can survive for 6 more months. Then I guess they claim bankruptcy? Anyway, Amanda feels responsible for something, so she invites Ryan up to share a bottle of wine and to consider staying.
[Chez Marina] A pretty dumb name for a restaurant to go along with a pretty dumb storyline. I'll give you one guess where this eatery is located, and it's not near Chez. Lexi purrs that the doctor did her wonders, then gives him a juicy kiss on the cheek in gratitude. When Lexi suggests they go to her place for a nightcap, Dr. Visconti backs off, and gives her the business card of a female colleague. "Good luck Lexi" he says, although his glasses are so steamed he could be talking to the waiter for all he knows.
[MP, Amanda and Kyle's Apt] Kyle arrives home with a bag of groceries, only to find his little bro and Amanda whooping it up over a bottle of wine. Amanda tells Kyle she's offered Ryan a job at AWA, saying "He's a genius with numbers." "Yes he is" Kyle replies, observing how the little dweeb pulled a number over on Amanda just now. Amanda toasts, saying "Now we're one big happy family." Considering Amanda grew up in a screwed up family, she has no clue what the definition of "one big happy family" really is, and by the "smile" on Kyle's face, this is not it.
[The Lewis Ranch] Megan is sitting at the piano, while her mommy dearest sits nearby. After about one stanza, Megan hits a wrong note and stops. Mommy Partridge cries out, "Focus. Go back. Over and over again until you get it right." So Megan starts over, and almost *before* she can play the first chord, her mommy chimes in, "Oh, it's wonderful darling. Just wonderful." But, as they approach the spot where Megan hit the sour note the last time, Michael walks in and Megan stops again. Jeesh, she'll never finish this song at this rate. However, after hearing the news Michael has, Megan may not have to. Michael tells the two women that he paid a visit to the town hospital, "...a very nice facility for such a small town." He tells Megan that her mommy owes her an explanation, mentioning that he looked up her father's medical records while he was at the hospital. "Megan, you may have stroked many a man," Michael says, "but your father was not one of them." Megan looks at her mommy, causing the Partridge to break down and admit, "Michael was right. Your father's stroke was due to an aneurysm." Megan doesn't understand why her mommy would lie like this, so Mrs. Lewis explains, saying that since Megan couldn't be the way she wanted her to be, she cut her baby loose. She felt so bad seeing her daughter stoop so low, and hoped for years that her daughter would one day come back. Mother and daughter get teary-eyed and they hug and sigh. At this point, I guess we're supposed to cry too, but the only time tears come to my eyes this episode is whenever that ridiculous Lexi-Dr. Visconti storyline rears its ugly head. The next morning, Megan and Dr. Mikey pack up and head back to Los Angeles. Megan tells her father, who's still sitting in his wheelchair on that stoop, doing his General Grant impression, that she's going back to La La Land to start her life over, fresh as a summer's eve. She swears, "I'm going to make you proud of me, you wait and see." Like he's really going anywhere.
[Amanda Woodward Advertising (AWA)] It seems like the advertising firm hasn't been doing much business these days, making me wonder if Billy really was that good! However, things may soon change for the company. When Jane apologizes to Amanda for not landing the Alex Bastion account, Amanda tells Jane to get ready for a big surprise, then points Jane towards the conference room where Alex himself is waiting. Jane meets with him, and Alex tells her he's willing to give her one more chance. He invites her over to his place for an evening discussion. Amanda tells Jane that after she lands the account, she'll have to explain why she picked Michael over Alex. When Jane asks, "How do you know I didn't already land the account?" Amanda answers, "Because I installed a sophisticated intercom system. The walls have ears, and they're mine."
[Wilshire Memorial] Since Amanda is busy eavesdropping, Kyle has to stop by and pick up Peter. Kyle says wants to know what Peter was really doing in the bedroom. Kyle doesn't like the kidnapper story, saying they got the money already so why would they return. Then Kyle mentions the journal again, so Peter asks, "Do you think they were out to kidnap the journal this time?" Normally a stupid question, but coming from Kyle's mouth, it would be completely feasible. As they leave, they run into Lexi, who goes warns Peter that he may soon be crawling back to her for forgiveness. Then she mentions something about the Roman emperors and all the power in their thumb, saying "Thumb's up, or thumb's down. Thumb's up, or thumb's down. Thumb's up, or thumb's down...." Lexi pays Dr. Visconti a visit, then proceeds to rip her blouse off. Funny thing though, she has this aversion to showing her belly button. In all her horniness, I have yet to see her navel, and that's why you haven't seen it in the Navel Academy on this site yet. Anyway, at this point I started crying out of pity for the writers, so I didn't see this scene too clearly. But from what I heard, Lexi tricks the psychiatrist into divulging Peter's secret, that he was the one responsible for the phony kidnapping, jeopardizing Amanda's life, and even collecting the ransom money. When Lexi hears this, she immediately hops off the shrink (who, by the way, HASN'T yet, making it impossible for him to get up off the couch and try running after her) and runs out of the office.
[Michael's Car] Michael and Megan are driving back down the coast. Michael calls Jane from his cell phone to her cell phone, apologizing to her for dwelling on the past. "Life isn't what happened before, but what happens next." They exchange "I love you's" and hang up, at which point you see that Jane is in Alex Bastion's house. Alex tells Jane he's decided to give her a try. He toasts, "To second chances, and how rarely we get the chance." Hmm, maybe he's not gay.
[MP Courtyard] Peter and Kyle arrive home to the apartment complex. Peter thanks Kyle, then adds, "Anything else?" Kyle replies, "Yeah -- a lot more, I think. I just haven't figured out what yet." After all, it IS Kyle. Give him a couple of episodes or so to think about it, and I'm sure he'll think of something. Peter enters his apartment, then runs to the bedroom and pulls the briefcase out from under the bed where he's stashed the $1 million. He opens it up and washes his hand in the money. Then the phone rings. Peter answers it, but he can only hear breathing, or bubbles, on the other end. He gets frustrated but the caller simply hangs up. It turns out the caller is none other than Lexi, who then says from the comfort of her bubble bath. "I'll let you sweat it out Peter. Sweat and then burn." Too bad Peter didn't perform a *69 on her, and I'm not talking phone sex either. Only Peter seems to have also been bit by the dumb-male syndrome which seems to have run rampant on this episode, and the scene ends with him in the dark, in more ways than one.
[To Be Continued...] Last Modified September 22, 1998 |
|
|
|
| [Season 4] [Season 5] [Season 6] [Season 7] | ||