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Melrose Place
[Street Scene] If there's one thing you gotta admire about Jane, it's her loyalty. Here she is, returning to Michael after all the abuse he's dealt her over the years, and now this... she's driving another Volkswagen. This time, it's the brand-spanking new VW Beetle. Jane has called Michael to inform him she'll be late picking him up for Matt's dinner party because she's stuck in traffic due to a major car accident. Michael tells her not to worry since he got stuck in ER Rotation, where staff members sit around and watch reruns of "ER" all night long hoping for operating tips from Anthony Edwards and George Clooney, and won't be able to make it to Matt's shindig. Jane says Matt will be bummed (were Michael and Matt closer friends than I thought?), but she'll say "Hi" for him. Michael tells Jane he was thinking about hiring a PI to find Taylor, even though Jane argues that if Taylor wants to disappear, then it's probably for the best. Michael thinks Jane is happy that Taylor and Mikey Jr. are out of the picture.
[Kyle's the Restaurant] Only on Melrose Place can two people, bitter enemies only episodes before, become total bed buddies the next time you see them. That's the case with Megan and Lexi, who are now sitting together sloshing it up while hating men in between gulps. Lexi uses every sailing cliche in the book, from the ever popular saying, "Everyone in this hypocritical, sanctimonious world is out to DROWN you..." to the classic "You gotta stay AFLOAT. You got to be the toughest SHARK in the SEA." And who hasn't gone a day without using the phrase, "You got to buy first, fast, and often, and kill the SCUM SUCKERS before they know what hit them." Coop is blatantly absent from the picture, and what was once a triangle with three points, is now just a line. Megan is so confused, shaking her head to-and-fro and saying that despite everything, life for her is complete as long has she's got a man. This provides a laugh for Lexi, which quickly gets extinguished when she spots Peter entering the establishment. Megan tells Lexi that the party she's supposed to be attending is for Matt and invites Lexi to stay. Lexi replies, "Well, Megan, it's sort of a question of, Matt who?" and leaves. Peter, Megan, Amanda, Kyle, Megan, and Jane sit down together and wonder where the hell Matt is. (Meanwhile, I'm wondering, not what, but why the hell are they having the party for Matt in the first place.) Megan, reminding us just who the real blonde is on the show, then says, "Kyle, did I mention that I'm calling in sick tonight?" Kyle, helping her into her chair, replies, "This is your day off anyway." The group then goes down memory lane, reminiscing about happy stories of "St. Matt.". Jane pipes in saying she's got a great one, then begins by saying, "Everyone was new in the building. I had just had my miscarriage, which of course, I lost..." Miscarriage, now that's a real upper. Next, we get our taste of the new flashback effect, created especially for this 200th episode. First, there's a loud boom, sort of like a gunshot, followed by a black-and-white ethereal video sequence. Flashback #1 ends with another booming sound and high-pitched whine, like what you would hear while trying to tune in a distant radio station. I guess this discordant sound is for those who own black & white TV's, who otherwise wouldn't know when the flashback had begun or when it ended. Anyway, the hysterics at the table are interrupted when the host comes over to tell Amanda she has a phone call from Michael Mancini. When Amanda answers the phone, Michael informs her of the bad news: Matt was involved in a accident, and was killed. Amanda returns to the table, where Kyle asks what's up. Amanda says, "It's Matt. He's dead." Immediately, thoughts race through the various partygoers: Megan: "How could Matt have called if he's the one who's dead?" Peter: "I thought the other guy's supposed to die in an SUV-car crash?" Jane: "It just goes to show ya, it's always something. if it's not AIDS, it's a car crash." Kyle: "Who is Matt again?" Amanda: "Hmm. I guess he won't be returning to the show the way Jane did..."
[Beach] Scene opens with some more slo-mo shots, this time of Amanda, wandering around on the beach, picking up sea shells and stuff. I probably wouldn't have been far off had I wrote "wondering" instead, since by the look on her face, it appears she has no idea why she's being filmed twirling about wearing this sheer white dress, other than to attract the male audience between 11 and ??. And, since Sean Lennon is the musical guest star, Spelling attempts to get his money's worth by overlaying the scene with some of his singing early on.
[Wilshire Memorial] Cut to Peter attending another shrink session. It ends up that the beach scene before is one of Peter's dreams. It's a flashback (#2) of the way Amanda was just after their marriage. Life was so slow motion back then. Peter's doctor tells him he's got to move on, prompting Peter to blurt, "And you gotta fix that scratch in your CD!" Which is pretty depressing, since I remember the phrase as "You gotta fix that scratch in your record," and I realize most people reading this probably don't even know what a phonograph is. But I digress. Peter tells the doc that Amanda still loves him, to which the shrink says, "In your dreams, sucka!" a highly therapeutic phrase worthy of the $150/hr he charges his patients.
[Beach House] Michael and Jane comfort each other over the Matt being pulled out from under them. Then Michael tells Jane she was probably right about the baby and Taylor. Michael asks, "I need to know. Were you serious about having your own baby?" Jane says she is, which does not bode well for her career on this show. Hasn't she learned yet that b-a-b-y spells "adios" for your character on this show? Apparently not. Michael proposes to her and she accepts. Michael is so happy, exclaiming, "Six is my lucky number!"
[Wilshire Memorial] Nurse Amy catches Peter in the hall, and tells him both Mr. Beck and Amanda Woodward are waiting for him in his office. Peter is shocked when he hears they're in the same room together, and runs to his office. Mr. Beck hands Peter a briefcase, saying it's the paperwork Peter wanted, and leaves. Peter peeks into the attache and sees it's the ransom money. Amanda tells Peter, if they're going to have lunch, they should go now, since she's been having to work overtime to try to make up the ransom money, which probably means having to return to the office in the afternoon. Peter says he just has to file the paperwork, quickly placing the entire briefcase into the file cabinet, along with all the other briefcases Peter's filed away over the years.
[Upstairs Jazz Club] Kyle pulls a Homer. The club is swarming with construction workers, who are remodeling the club, yet Kyle tells Charlie he can't pay for the work. DOH! Charlie tells Kyle he had better get him a check by that night. Lexi enters, and tells Kyle if it were her, the first thing she'd change would be the music. I guess the second thing she'd change would be the word Jazz in the club's name. It turns out that Lexi is there to see Megan. Lexi says, now that her company is out of trouble, it's expanding its business to include advertising. Well, considering this was originally scheduled to be the season opener, with the previous episode having played back a few months earlier, I guess we were supposed to forget her marriage to Coop was a sham, and that the $5 million she used to pay off her tax debts should have been revoked, leaving her in the same financial state that she was when she got arrested. Anyway, Lexi offers Megan a job, citing her "excellent" work under Eric Baines. Kyle agrees being an ad exec might be a tad better career path than bartending, but Megan tells him that money doesn't matter, love does, and that Michael taught her that. She really is blonde.
[Fielding Residence] Amanda pays Matt's mother a visit to offer condolences from the entire apartment complex. Amanda asks if the gang can attend the funeral, but Mrs. Fielding says it's for family only (just Chelsea, Katya Petrova Fielding, Nikki Petrova, and Denise Fielding?) Amanda smiles, saying, in a way, they were part of Matt's family, but Mrs. Fielding's face remains as stoic as can be as she rejects Amanda's request. With a female figure like this in Matt's family, it's no wonder he went down that other path. But, so as not to make the trip a complete waste of time, Mrs. Fielding presents Amanda with Matt's journal, which was found in his car. It's one of those things "those kinds of people" keep.
[MP, Amanda & Kyle's Apt] While Kyle sits at the kitchen table, crying over spilt milk, as well as a million-plus debt, Amanda sits and giggles over the entries in Matt's journal. It seems that everyone who ever lived at Melrose Place confided in one or more secrets with Matt, and he not only documented them, but provided his own analysis of each situation. Kyle doesn't appear very interested, and opts for a shower and a roll on the leopard skin instead. Amanda mentions to Kyle that she thinks what Peter needs is to get back with Lexi, and decides to play matchmaker. Kyle heads off to primp in the bathroom, when Amanda stumbles upon a section in the journal about someone pushing some dude in a letterman jacket (letter "T") off a building, which we see in black & white (flashback #4) along with those annoying boom and whine sounds. Amanda gasps, "Oh my God!" My words exactly. Amanda promptly rips the page out of the journal. Then to ensure no one will EVER see it again, she hides the page in another book sitting on her bookshelf. The next morning, Amanda wakes up, only to find Kyle glued to Matt's journal. Kyle says he's only reading the parts that have his name mentioned. Amanda says she was surprised to find the little secret Kyle was harboring, namely, that Kyle has a younger brother named Ryan. Of course, the camera closes in on Kyle's face as he squeezes his eyes together, makes a fist, then brings it to his mouth, signalling flashback #5, rattling the tinny speaker in my television set once again with that gunshot sound. It's a B&W scene of Boston, where Kyle burst in on his little brother and punched him in the nose, accusing Ryan of sleeping with Taylor. Ryan tries to explain that he didn't sleep with her, despite her coming on to him and even undressing. Ryan tells Kyle that Taylor had mentioned some trouble with another waitress at the restaurant, etc. Ryan adds, "You married a tramp, bro." Kyle pummels him, tells him he has no brother, then leaves. BOOM! WHINE! We're back to the present, Kyle admitting to Amanda that he was probably wrong, but now it wouldn't know what to say to his brother. Which seems no different than his behavior with any of the other cast members, so I don't understand what the big deal is.
[Burns-Mancini-Sans Coop Medical Office] Michael cries to Peter that Amanda has a journal full of secrets that Matt wrote down. At first, Peter doesn't believe Michael's rants, but Michael legitimizes his claim by saying Mrs. Fielding told him she gave the journal to Amanda. A look of concern overtakes Peter's face, an expression Andrew Shue should've learned how to make, and maybe he still would've had a job right now. Peter states that Michael is right; there might be some incriminating evidence in that book. Will the tension never cease?
[Amanda Woodward Agency] Amanda calls Lexi over to her office to discuss Peter. Amanda tells Lexi it's high time she and Peter get back together, and Amanda says she's willing to do whatever she can to help make that happen. Lexi's response: "I see. You've bee waving your little victim act around so much you've attracted too many flies. Now you're looking for a little sucker to swat one of them away from you, huh? I'm not in the bug business." Lexi leaves. Michael arrives. Amanda starts to head out to lunch. He begs Amanda not to destroy the journal, and to keep hush about its contents, especially the part about when he and Matt first met in a club called The Stud Factory in Chicago, where, it turns out, Michael worked as a stripper. Whether Matt also worked there or was simply a patron, was never clear. My speaker crackles as we get to see flashback #6, or should I say, flashdance #1 of Michael in a pair of bikini bottoms and a cowboy hat. Peter, who also arrives at the agency with the same intentions as Michael, ie, to find out what the journal has to say about him. Amanda assures Peter the journal has nothing whatsoever regarding him.
[Upstairs Jazz Club] Michael has reservations for a quiet dinner, but by the sound of the loud (and definitely not jazz) music, Michael realizes this isn't going to happen. Then he asks Megan if she's seen Jane yet. Megan says no, but tells Michael she has something she needs to discuss with him. They go into Kyle's upstairs office, which Megan tries to use the same way Slick Willie did the Oval Office. Although she couldn't believe Coop's feelings towards her could change in one episode, hers changes for Michael just as fast. Only Michael, for once, shows enough willpower to resist Megan, who desperately needs a man back in her life. When Michael mentions Jane, Megan tells him Jane's just a substitute the same way Coop was for her. But when Michael informs Megan that he's going to marry Jane, and that Jane was his first -- then corrects himself by saying his only -- true love, Megan realizes she was just actually the substitute (sub-, pro-... one of those "-stitute" words.) Michael leaves Megan with her jaw dragging on the floor.
[MP, Laundry Room] Peter heads down to do some washing, but stops short when he hears Amanda and Kyle bickering down in the laundry room. Kyle is upset that there are references in the journal about Amanda's feelings for Peter. Amanda thought Kyle was only reading the parts with his name on them, but Kyle got carried away. Suddenly, Kyle whips the journal out of his pants pocket. And all this time, Amanda thought Kyle was just happy to see her. Kyle reads a specific passage. "Amanda realizes she will always be connected to Peter. There is something dark in him that binds him to her, like no other man has, or ever will." Amanda explains that this feeling was before she met Kyle. Then Amanda asks if there is anything else that is bothering him, so Kyle points to the center binding, where there is definite evidence that a page has been torn out, and says "It looks like a page has been torn out." No sh!t, Sherlock. Amanda, recognizing Kyle's propensity to sink in water (ie, dense), suggests to him that either Matt or his mom must've torn it out, and that she had no part in it. Works for Kyle and he resumes folding clothes.
[Beach House] Michael is in the bedroom dressing for work when he hears "Addicted to Love" by Robert Palmer coming from the other room. Either Jane is watching "The Bedroom Window" on TV or she knows about Michael's little secret. Well, when Michael comes out, about the only thing I remember from this point forward is sight of Jane in the tightest pair of pants I've ever seen on MP. I think Michael starts prancing around to the music or something at this point, but it's irrelevent to the scene. The pants are the definitely the focal point.
[MP, Peter's Apt] Amanda stops by to tell Peter what the journal really had to say about him, forcing us to hear the loud crashing noise announcing flashback #7. In this black and white montage, we see a younger Dr. Peter Burns, back during the days when he was in jail and had lost his medical license. Mr. Beck was dying, and no doctor was willing to operate on him. Mr. Beck got one of the judges who owed him a favor, a Judge Smith, to release Peter. All Peter had to do was successfully operate on Mr. Beck and everything would be fine again. Flash back to the present. Amanda promises never to disclose Peter's secret of practicing without a license. Peter starts thumbing through the journal but Amanda quickly pulls it away from him. Peter asks whether there are any secrets about her in the journal. Amanda answers, "First of all, I never shot off my mouth to Matt, like an idiot. And second, I don't have any secrets." Then, as Amanda turns to leave, Peter says, "Amanda, you better be careful getting out that door. I think your nose is growing." And by the look of ectasy on Peter's face as a result of Amanda's outfit, I'm sure she could look down at him and say the same thing about his little Pinocchio.
[Beach at Night] Flashback #8. Michael and Jane are having frozen daiquiris on the beach when Jane decides to tell Michael about the secret of hers that lurks in Matt's journal. She goes on to describe, in vivid grey scale, the night before her wedding to Michael, when she spent celebrating her senior fashion show with her male friend, Alex Bastion, that fortress of a man. It turns out that Alex was in love with Jane, and she ended up sleeping with him that night. Jane described it as sort of "saying good-bye," a term most recently used in the Starr Report. Michael gets a little upset, and resigns Jane to the couch.
[Beach House] Michael is sitting out on the veranda, despite the chilly air, since it seems it's just a chilly inside where Jane was. Michael gives her a lecture on morality, a subject he "knows" (or "no's") much about, telling Jane what she said to him last night really hurt him, and he's doesn't know whether he can ever trust her in the future, and whether he can trust what she's done in the past.
[Upstairs Jazz Club] Peter stops by to see if he had left his credit card there the night before. Kyle assumes Peter really stopped by to read the journal, but Peter informs Kyle that Amanda already paid him a visit to show him its contents. Kyle jumps to the conclusion that Peter must be the "missing page," forcing Amanda to make a public display of affection for Kyle, announcing that her relationship with Peter is simply that of an acquaintance, and that she will never love anyone other than Kyle (at least for another few episodes). Meanwhile, Sean Lennon is rehearsing his nasal sound of the Nineties in the background, to which Amanda and Kyle try slow dancing. The fact that Sean Lennon is playing on MP is either 1) a sad indication of Sean Lennon's career, or 2) Melrose is becoming more interested in attracting its weekly musical guests than in retaining its cast.
[Wilshire Memorial] Peter goes directly to his shrink, where he tells him about the scene at the Jazz club, and how Amanda rips his "...heart out, right in front of Kyle, but not because she means it, because of the missing page." Peter concludes that the missing page must contain something about Amanda's feelings towards him, feelings that could jeopardize her relationship with Kyle. Peter's finally understanding what Matt meant when he said he felt all giddy inside. The psychiatrist doesn't really know what to do, so when in doubt, write a prescription, which he promptly does for Peter.
[Upstairs Jazz Club] Sean Lennon plays. I guess Kyle took Lexi's savvy business advice and ruined, I mean, remodeled, the club's atmosphere by starting to play non-jazz music there. Kyle hands Michael a note from Megan. When Michael reads it, he gets concerned, saying it sounds just like the note Taylor had left prior to her wrapping her big fat lips around her car's exhaust pipe and sucking down some CO gas. Michael recalls Megan mentioning a trailer park she grew up in in Napa Valley and heads off to talk to her about a thing or two. When Kyle turns around, he's surprised to see his little brother, Ryan, there. While most siblings settle for a peck on the cheek, these two prefer knuckles, and Ryan greets Kyle with punch in the face. It turns out that Kyle took Amanda's advice and called his brother to come out. Kyle wants to introduce Ryan to the little lady, so the two of them leave the club and head home.
[MP, Amanda & Kyle’s Apt] Amanda arrives home and notices her front door is ajar. "Oh my God" she exclaims again. She immediately heads for the kitchen, where she pulls out her revolver. She hears something stirring in the bedroom. Kyle and Ryan arrive in the courtyard, when they hear a gunshot. No, it's not flashback #9, this time it's really a gunshot! The two McBrides run inside, finally turning on a light in the place, and when they turn the fallen body over, Amanda gasps "Peter!" Yes, not only did she rip out his heart in this episode, but she plugged his lung, too.
[To Be Continued...]
Last Modified September 15, 1998 |
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