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Melrose Place
[Road Out of Ojai] The Nino is still and wet, as Kyle approaches a CHP roadblock. The officer informs Kyle that he must turn around and head back to Ojai, despite Kyle's pleas to get to Picnic Table #7. When Kyle asks what she'll do if he tries to continue, the officer says, "I'll shine my flashlight in yo' face, sucka!" Kyle about-faces.
[Woods Near Shack] Around and around the mulberry bush, the Jack he chases the Amanda... Meanwhile, Peter decides to venture out into the rain in a vain attempt to locate Amanda.
[Pacific Ocean] Lexi and Coop sail out to sea, where Coop tries to scare Lexi from ever wanting to be with him. Only, his plans are foiled when he discovers Megan stowed away below deck. He assures Megan he'd never really try to kill Lexi, then goes on deck and tries to do exactly that. Megan tries to save Lexi and in the end, Coop decides to leave them both. The escapade can best be surmised in song: Sit right back and you'll hear a tale, For Coop was a wacko doctor man, The fighting started getting rough, Coop dumped both girls on the shore of this With A-manda, Here on Melrose Place Land
[Beach House] Moans and more moans can be heard above the crash of thunder and rain. Michael must really be making up for lost time with Jane! But lo and behold! The sounds are NOT coming from the bedroom after all, but from the living room, where Taylor has a big donut on her face. No wait, those are her lips, as she attempts to breathe the way they tell you to in those natural childbirth classes. Michael tells her to breathe and push. Taylor refuses, until Michael and Jane promise to parent the child. Then, much to everyone's amazement, the child spurts out. Michael holds the newborn high into the air and cackles, "It's aliiiiiiive. It's aliiiiive!!!" Will this baby break the Jo Reynold's record for most episode appearances by a baby before being written off?
[Woods Near Shack] Amanda and Jack keep running around the same bush... Next report in 5 minutes.
[Radio Station in Tampa, FL] WQAK, 100 AM. Quack Radio? Jeff Baylor is hosting what appears to be the 2 am time slot. He's rambling on about Ken Griffey Jr. being his hero because... well, we'll never really know (although we never really cared either) because just then, he looks up and sees Samantha outside of his broadcasting booth. Quickly, Jeff goes to commercial and runs out into the hall, wondering what Sam's doing in Florida. Sam says she's there to apologize. She came clean with Jennifer and the whole faxcapade, and how the Pretorians are trying to erase her memory. "Tough RAM chips" Jeff tells her, explaining that she's broken his heart one time too many and that there is nothing, I repeat, nothing that she can say to make him come back. Well, except if she says, "I want to be on your team, so badly. I'm down on my knees. Will you marry me?" Then he gives her a hug, and wishes her a safe trip back. She leaves and he resumes his position behind the microphone, where he scrunches up his lips, rolls his eyes into the back of his head, and then grabs at his mane of hair. Obviously, he and Billy go to the same school of acting, and the only ones who will be sad to see them go will be their agents.
[Abandoned Shack] Peter's cell phone rings. It's Kyle, calling from the Ojai police station. Peter flips out, reminding Kyle that the kidnappers said no cops. Kyle figured the thugs didn't keep up their end of the bargain, so why should he. The cops have a dead body which matches the description of Amanda, ie, blonde, in her thirties, always a special guest star. They want Kyle to ID it shortly. And speaking of dying, the battery on Peter's cell phone also takes the plunge, causing his conversation with Kyle to be overcome with static before cutting out completely. Out of frustration, Peter flails the cell phone against the wall, so that the phone itself would match the condition of the battery.
[WQAK Radio] Jeff Baylor has resumed his talk show, droning on with the one or two insomniacs who are still awake but too poor to pay for the psychic hotline telephone call. Now I know AM radio is supposed to be monophonic, but monotone, too? Then again, maybe his voice is just what the doctor ordered for those sleepless Tampians. Jeff's next caller is a young woman, who says over the airwaves, "I want to be on your team, so badly. I'm down on my knees. Will you marry me?" Well, let me tell you, Jeff's eye's light up faster than his switchboard! He doesn't care who this person is, but he really likes the sound of her being down on her knees. When the caller says she's outside the radio station at a pay phone, Jeff goes to commercial break and runs outside. Much to his dismay (I couldn't really tell from his acting, so I'm just guessing) he finds Samantha there, and may I add, not on her knees. Still, he decides he'd marry her, saying he'd marry her even if her name was Ruth Marx. They agree on a wedding date of 5 months, 11 days from now, since that's when her divorce from Billy will be final. So long, suckers!
[Ojai Police Station] Kyle, sitting alone on a bench, occupies his time by fondling his kneecaps. Then he has a dream of an old episode when he first said "I love you" to Amanda. You can tell it's a flashback, from the wavy lines in the picture. His dream is interrupted, however, when a cop comes over to take him to the body bag in the next room. The cop unzips the bag, and Kyle breathes a sigh of relief. I guess it's not Amanda.
[Pacific Ocean] Regarding Coop, when Megan realizes Coop is off his rocker, she helps Lexi. Coop can't believe Megan interfered with his plan. Then, in his next breath, he blames Megan for his recent behavior: "We had everything. Our happiness. Our dreams. But it wasn't enough for you. I wasn't enough for you. You had to save the world. A hooker with a heart of gold. Well, congratulations. I almost killed a person for YOU."
[MP, Jennifer's Apt] Billy stops by to pick up some of his stuff. Jennifer tries to have an adult discussion with him, but Billy will be Billy. Jennifer tries a last ditch effort to impress Billy, this time telling Billy there's some Italian food, just like in Italy, in the refrig. Some refer to it as Domino's. She runs off to the shower. The phone rings, so Billy answers it. It's Michael, who is disappointed that Billy is still there. Michael tells Billy to tell Jennifer that she just became an aunt, and that he'll be by around 6 o'clock to take her to LAX. That is, if she's still planning on returning to New Jersey. Billy relays the message to Jennifer, who then asks if Billy would like to join her. Billy gives a blank stare, as if to say he doesn't know whether she means in the shower or in New Jersey. Take a good look, 'cuz this will be one of the last times you get to see that all-purpose blank face. Billy says, "I can't," then leaves.
[Wilshire Memorial] Taylor has been checked into the hospital. Jane is at her bedside, and is bottle feeding little Mikey Jr. Jane is busy telling Mikey Jr. how he's got Michael's eyes, hair, etc., when Taylor chirps in, "Don't you think he has my nose?" Jane looks up at Taylor, and realizes, there actually is a nose behind that upper lip of hers. Jane nods as if to say, "Whatever you say, Taylor." Taylor asks if she could hold Mikey, Jr. But as soon as the baby sees that monstrous fish pucker, he starts crying. So Jane takes that baby back. Jane tells Taylor to simply do what comes natural.
[Woods Near Shack] ...Pop! goes the Peter... and rescues Amanda from Jack. If you really need the details, Amanda had slid down a muddy embankment while running around that damn bush for the past 35 minutes. Jack announces to Amanda, "Fun's over, Blondie."(Apparently, he patterns himself after "The Ugly" in that Clint Eastwood film.) He fires a few rounds at her, missing her by a mile. Peter comes up from behind and tackles the Ugly. Peter tells him that he's Mr. Beck's boss, and that he is to go back to town. That way, they'll both be heroes. Jack fires off a round, for effect, then runs off. Peter slides down and "rescues" Amanda, who is happy to see even Peter.
[Motel] Peter carries Amanda to some seedy motel. The phone line at the motel is down, so they have to spend the night there. Peter recommends they both strip naked and lay together, so that she won't receive hypothermia. Peter gives the clerk Kyle's number, asking him to call Amanda's husband as soon as the phones are restored.
[Ojai Police Dept] Kyle is busy bickering with the lady cop who gave him the (flashlight) shiner, when his cell phone rings. It ends up being Taylor, who tells Kyle she had the baby. Kyle tries to hang up, but not before Taylor tells him that the only good she ever learned was from him. She tells him that she's decided to move back to Boston, and sell her share of the restaurant back to him. She'll have her lawyer, Ally and Georgia, contact him shortly. Kyle remains cold to her, saying "Good luck" then hanging up. Taylor mutters, "To hell with you."
[Wilshire Memorial] Jane gives Michael a hard stare, telling him she just found Jennifer over in the ladies room in Wilshire Memorial's Broken Hearts Wing, bawling her eyes out. Jane asks Michael if he had anything to do with it (separation with Billy), because if he did, then he should meddle again to fix it. She says Billy was the love of her life, and that Jennifer won't be "charmed" until she gets him back.
[Motel] Peter puts a naked Amanda to bed. As he rubs her down, she thanks him for his heroics. Peter replies, "I figured, once I got all wet, I couldn't really come (back) without you." Now, is he talking about the rescue or his last Amanda-fantasy?" Amanda admits she thought she was really going to die out there. Peter reassures her that no one's going to hurt her anymore, at least physically. The next morning, while Peter is sleeping next to Amanda with her cradled in the nook of his arm, there's a knock at the door. Peter jumps up, wearing nothing more than a pair of tight boxers, to answer the door. It's Kyle, who apparently forgets what or who he's been worried about this entire episode, since the first question out of the ex-Marine's mouth is why is Peter not wearing any clothes. But before Peter can stutter a syllable, Kyle sees Amanda in bed jarring the jarhead's memory. Amanda tells him to come over and give her a kiss before grilling her hero. Kyle is a bit perturbed to find she's not wearing clothes either, but Peter explains it was due to the hypothermia, which doesn't help much since that word has too many syllables for poor Kyle to handle.
[LAX] Jane brings Jennnifer to the aiport, who can't believe that her brother didn't driver her. Jennifer asks Jane if she really loves Michael. Wehn Jane answers, "Call me crazy, but yes," (although I think masochistic would be a better word), Jennifer advise Jane not to let anything come between her and Michael. Jennifer adds, "If I had a second chance with Billy, I'd never blow it." Hmm, I can't believe how these Monica Lewinsky quotes keep coming up in this show! Moments later, who should come strutting down the hall other than Billy and Michael. Jane whispers to Jennifer this is sort of Michael's engagement present. Michael proudly states that he bought Billy a full price economy class ticket to New Jersey. Jennifer is shocked, figuring Billy was already on his way to Italy, but Billy tells her his flight isn't scheduled to leave for 15 minutes. Then he starts his drabble about how he's been thinking about Italy, and all the MacDonalds and Burger Kings out there; the Leaning Tower of Pizza, which he's been dying to taste; and "Roam," how he's always wanted to go to roam Italy... but how it would just be like living in New Jersey without Jennifer there to share it with him. They kiss, they hug. They decide to go to New Jersey. A perfect place for the perfect couple. Well, as they say in Los Angeles, "Hasta la vista, baby!"
[MP Courtyard] Peter, Amanda, and Kyle return from the mountains. The rain has subsided, and the birds are singing. Peter heads to his pad, while Amanda and Kyle head towards theirs. Amanda suddenly realizes that Billy's left the show for good, and says it's going to be so weird not having him around. (I must admit, that part's true.)
[Burns-Mancini-Coop Medical Office] Megan arrives, in the most hideous blouse to-date. The new receptionist, Kary, takes one look at Megan and immediately tries to protect Coop's eyes from the eyesore, but Megan bursts past the petite new blonde and enters Coop's office. Coop tells her he's not speaking to anyone, including her. Life is full of contradictions, and this is not different, because after stating he wasn't speaking to anyone, he starts speaking. He tells Megan that the opening in Philadelphia was still unfilled, so he decided to accept Dr. Larner's offer and is leaving Melrose Place. Megan is appalled that Coop would take a job from Dr. Scumbag after what he did to her. Coop attributes it to a momentary snap (Slick Willy's lawyers, are you taking notes?). On cue, the door swings open and Lexi enters. Coop yells out, "Kary, what am I paying you for?" Lexi is fuming because Coop called her lawyer and told him that the marriage is over. Now the lawyer wants the $10 million back. So Lexi informs him she's going to file charges of attempted murder. Coop could care less, because in 5 minutes, he'll be off the show forever. Megan tells him running away won't solve any problems. Coop runs away. Megan can't believe Coop could change his feelings off overnight like this, but Lexi tells her what she's seen is just the abridged version of the man of mood swings. Lexi continues by saying she lived through 8 yrs of that. Megan, asking her first intelligent question of the season, says "Then why did you want him back?" Lexi replies, "Bad memory and poor judgement... and he had the one thing I always wanted in a man..." That's right. Five-million dollar-envy.
[Wilshire Memorial] Michael and Jane go back to the airport to check in on Taylor, but before they enter, they have a talk about her miscarriage back when they were married the first time. Jane felt that Michael was somehow relieved when it happened. Michael admits he was, but that he was immature back then. He promises that he's grown. They kiss, then enter Taylor's room, only to find she's gone. There's a note on the bed that says she's changed her mind about giving them the baby. Taylor feels she and Mikey Jr. have a bond that shouldn't be broken. They frown.
[Curbside, Beach House] Taylor puts the last of her belongings in the Bravada, then jumps in the driver's seat and turns to talk to Mikey Jr., whose strapped into his baby seat. "I know it's kind of weird facing backward like that, but it's for your own personal safety." (Spelling's annual public service message, this time regarding air bags.) She goes on to say that she's never had terribly good at holding onto men, but that it will be different with Mikey Jr. "I will always love you, and you will always love me..." That's sick. They drive off into the sunrise, the last you'll ever see of this baby. So the Jo Reynold's baby record still stands.
[MP, Amanda & Kyle's Apt] Amanda and Kyle are in bed. Amanda wakes, and checks to make sure Kyle is still asleep. She sneaks out to the other room and calls Peter to thank him properly for being her hero. As Amanda continues her thank-yous, Kyle appears at the bedroom door frame, and using the skills he learned as a U.S. marine, eavesdrops undetected. She apologizes for saying such mean things to him for still carrying a torch. Peter says he'll always come through for her because, like girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, and snowflakes that stay on his nose and eyelashes, it's one of his favorite things. Plus, getting a million dollar ransom doesn't hurt either! Amanda admits she just assumed the connection between them would go away as time went on, but it hasn't, and she's glad, and she won't take it for granted again.
[To Be Continued...]
Last Modified September 16, 1998 |
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