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Melrose Place
Episode #190 / Season #6
Title: "Four Affairs & A Pregnancy"
Original Air Date: Monday, March 16, 1997 [Upstairs Jazz Club]
This week's featured artist is Jim Brickman with Laura Creamer. Watching them perform, I was able to pick out Laura, but I almost missed what happened in the scene, finding myself obsessed to figure out if Brickman was the pianist, cellist, drummer boy. Luckily, I returned to reality, if you can call Melrose Place true life, just as Billy and Sam enter to have a drink. You know something's amiss when Billy goes to the bar and orders two beers instead of the customary martinis. When Billy sees Jennifer is bartending, he goes goo-goo and says he knows what he wants, but drinks will have to suffice. He returns to the table, where Sam tries her best to engage in some small talk. "This place is wild, isn't it? It makes you feel like anything can happen... Like the laws of nature might explode!" Yeah, right. If the music was any slower, I'd probably be sleeping right now instead of clicking away on my computer. I mean, Sam's talking nonsense and she hasn't even had a sip of her first drink yet. No wonder she tries to refrain from having any sort of conversation with Jeff Baylor opting for sex instead. Billy, unable to pull his eyes away from Jennifer, says he wants to get out of there, under the premise that he has an early meeting tomorrow and has to get some sleep. [MP, Coop's Apt]
Megan is lying in bed, unable to sleep. The window is rattling. What importance this has on the scene, I have no idea, but closed captioning mentioned it, so I will too. Megan, staring at a sound asleep Coop, wakes him to share the Michael-kissing incident that happened while she was jogging that day. She explains that Michael pleaded with her to not go to Philadelphia. Coop asks her what she's decided to do. Megan proceeds to explain that this place has become kind of like her home, her family. And like every other youngster in the world, she's dying to get away from her family 'cuz they're driving her insane! She tells Coop she'll follow him like sheep. Coop smiles. A sheep, eh? "You've made me a very happy man." Then he grabs the bed sheet, wraps it around him like a sheepherder and tells Megan to get on all fours and be a baaaaa, baaaaa-d girl. Oh, he also mentions that the head of the search committee for the job in Philly has invited him to dinner at the Imperial Hotel tomorrow night, and he'd like Megan to accompany him. [Mancini Medical Clinic]
Michael is still at the clinic when he gets a call from Jennifer. She's surprised he's still there, which makes me wonder, if she wasn't expecting him to be there, why'd she call in the first place. Michael moans and groans when Jennifer reminds him about all the family investors, but then cheers up when he finds the fire insurance policy, realizing the clinic is worth a fortune on paper. He reminds Jennifer about the famous cannoli exploli (Italian for explosion), a disastrous fire that occurred at grandpa Mancini's bakery, bringing wealth to the family. [MP, Billy & Sam's Apt]
Of course, Billy was the one who wanted leave Upstairs early so he could go home to sleep. So it only makes sense that he decides to go jogging now. Sam doesn't question his behavior, probably relieved that she didn't accidentally wake up calling Jeff's name instead of Billy's. As Billy heads out towards the street, he runs into Jennifer returning home from work. She asks if he's running away from home, but he tells her he's just going out so he can think about things. Moments later, as Billy is jogging as fast as one can with a woodie, a car comes screeching up alongside of him. When Billy realizes it's Sam, he asks if there's something wrong. "Yes. Something is very wrong. I can't stay away from you Billy." At least Jennifer realizes if someone could actually like Billy, that they are definitely not okay. Jennifer, noticing Billy's protruding sweat pants adds "I think that's why you're running circles in the middle of the night." Billy tells her she's nuts, that he's married. Then they kiss, and he hobbles off. [MP, Megan's Apt]
Jennifer, the only bartender I know who's up running around or dancing with brooms at 8 o'clock in the morning, knocks on Megan's door. She begs for Megan to help her stop Michael from burning down the clinic. Megan informs Jennifer that if everything goes well, that she and Coop will be on their way to the state of Philadelphia, wherever that may be. So Jennifer tries to lay a guilt trip on her, saying, "Megan, if you left now, it might drive Michael to the edge." And right now, a medium with two toppings is just $8.99. Megan proceeds to tell Jennifer about problems she's having, saying she's supposed to go to the Imperial Hotel with Coop, only the Imperial Hotel is where it was Halloween for her 365 days of the year. "Trick or Treat, baby." Anyway, Megan agrees to see what she can do. [Amanda Woodward Advertising]
Billy brings Sam a bouquet of flowers. Sam wonders why. Billy does a superb impression of the Robot on "Lost in Space" when he replies "I was thinking of you and I wanted you to know that I love you. Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!" And danger is right, for just at that instant, Amanda strolls by, sees the flowers, and warns Sam, "Watch out! When a man brings you flowers, he's either trying to get away with something, or guilty of something he already got away with." Amanda goes to her office, where she finds Peter waiting. He wanted to apologize for leaving her with the check at dinner the night before, and then invites her to dine with him and Lexi, at Kyle's the Restaurant of course. [Stables]
Megan is out straddling a big piece of meat... no, Peter's still at Amanda's agency, Lexi's just doing the rich-girl equestrian thing. And of all people she should run into, she sees an old acquaintance, Rory Blake, whose name plays havoc with the tongues of the businessmen in Tokyo every time he visits. Apparently, Rory knew her back when she was married to Coop, asking if she "...escaped that hypocritical husband" of hers. Knowing the type of intelligent friends Lexi probably included in her circle, Rory probably meant to say, "Hippocratic husband." Lexi admits that Coop is also living in L.A., but that she has sort of escaped him. Rory informs her he's currently unattached, out in the area working out some sort of investment deal. [Kyle's the Restaurant]
At dinner, Peter's duck is ducky, Amanda's trout, trouty. Lexi spews some dribble small talk. Suddenly, Rory shows up, Lexi having invited him. "Hi, I'm Rory Blake, of the Cleveland Blakes." Yeah, not to be confused with the Robert Blakes. Peter introduces himself as "Peter Burns, of the Canadian Mounties." (Must be the McBride scotch.) Rory rambles on about nothing in particular, but trying his darnedest to be a smooth talker. He claims he just "loves a good show," then proceeds to prove his point by using the restaurant as an example. "Take this place," he says. "warm setting, expensive artwork -- the illusion it creates justifies the pricey menu," Calling Sam's paintings as "expensive artwork" (I think both words are incorrect) uncovers him for the phony he is, but for some reason, it impresses Amanda. Rory says he'd like a glass of champagne. Amanda tells him to make it a bottle and she'll join him. Peter gives her the evil eye. [Mancini Medical Clinic]
Michael, playing with his Bunsen burner, is just about to torch the clinic when a stranger opens the front door and walks in on him. Michael blows out the flame, and when he sees who it is, he gasps, "Oh, it's you, father Muldonado. The father replies, in that Chihuahua voice of his, "Who did you expect? Shaquille O'Neal?" Muldonado says it looks like he got there in the nick of time, but Michael explains he was simply surprised. "I get a little jumpy at night. It's not a great neighborhood you know." Hmm, that's why he left the front door unlocked. Muldonado offers to buy the clinic from Michael with the money Michael had donated last month, saying a young doctor he knows would like to run the place as an HMO. An HMO? And I thought the father was a good man. Michael jumps on the chance to dump the place, shaking hands on the deal. Muldonado tells him to consider it a gift from his guardian angel. [Kyle's the Restaurant]
By evening's end, Amanda has become a human Weeble. Kyle grabs ahold of her before she does fall down, and tells her he's going to Dallas to investigate Nick's role in the Christine-mess. He tells Amanda he loves her. In return, she plants one right on his kisser. Yup, a big loud slap. She tells him it's not about love, it's about two dead women -- Christine and her, and that she killed them both. Kyle rolls his eyes. [MP, Megan's Apt]
For those playing the Melrose Drinking game, girl walking dog past apartment building just occurred, so drink up! Michael visits Megan, figuring she was his guardian angel. She admits she was, but is now Coop's Victoria Secrets Angel instead. She says good-bye. [Wilshire Memorial Parking Lot]
Peter catches Coop as he exits his Toyota, and asks him about this retard named Rory. Coop tells Peter that Rory is bad news, and how he always got the urge to wash his hands after shaking hands with the scum. Peter informs Coop that Rory seems to be making a play for Amanda. Coop reminds Peter, and the viewers, that Amanda and the rest of the cast are all adults, a point easily forgotten when judging them solely by their behavior. [Amanda Woodward Advertising]
Rory interrupts Amanda's hectic morning by bringing her flowers. Then he opens his mouth, and all I can say is about the only thing worse than his pick-up lines is the outfit he's wearing. Amanda prefers to take a call from Digby Dog Foods than listen to another cheesy line from this clown. Meanwhile, Billy catches Sam in the office and asks her to do lunch. She says she can't, citing a bunch of errands and a client meeting down in Long Beach. She reminds him she loves him, and as proof gives him a peck on the cheek. [Mission]
Back at El Camino Real, Michael stops by to close the sale of the clinic and to pick up his check. Father Tomas Muldonado gives him a check made out to practically every Mancini but Michael. Just then, Jennifer arrives, admitting she was the one who had Tomas make the checks out the way he did. BTW, Michael gets one for $750. [Baylor's House]
Sam drops by Baylor's, then drops her panties. But Jeffy tells her sometimes he just wants to talk. He tells her about the Baylor family picnic scheduled for Saturday, and how told all his relatives about her. When she hears this, Sam demands to know what he told them. "I just told them you were a great softball player. Now they want you to fill the hole at second base." Now what I think he really wants is for her to BE second base, and he'll take responsibility for filling the hole. [Imperial Hotel]
Megan and Coop show up to meet Dr. George Larner, the head of the search committee. Megan excuses herself to powder her nose, and as she crosses the lobby, the house dick grabs her, showing why he's called that. He tells her he wants 10% of all she earns, and will tell her which room to use. She tells him she's not in that line of business anymore, so to get his chubby mitts off of her. Chubby tells her he's got his eye on her. As this transpires, Dr. Larner catches a glimpse of the action from across the room. [Dallas, TX]
Kyle goes to the apartment complex where Nick lived before moving temporarily to L.A. The landlady tells Kyle that Nick didn't leave a forwarding address, only an American flag on the wall. Kyle asks her if Nick had any visitors, showing her a lousy photo of the three musketeers, Christine's face completely hidden in shadows and a hat. About the only thing you could tell from the photo was that her hair was about shoulder length. Still, the landlady shakes her head, saying the woman in the photo wasn't the one that visited, because if it was, you'd be able to see those big fat lips, that even the shadow of the Marine cap couldn't hide those big things. Kyle says, "Taylor" and the landlady agrees, that occupation sounds familiar. [Wilshire Memorial]
Peter finishes up being a character reference for Dr. Larner and he leaves, just as Michael is entering. Michael overhears Dr. Larner tell Peter he's staying at the Imperial Hotel. Peter can't believe how they accommodated Coop and now he's packing up and abandoning them. Michael tries to segue into asking for his job back at the medical practice, but Peter rejects the idea, saying getting rid of Michael was the one good thing Coop did for him. Michael leaves Peter's office where Taylor catches up with him. She's claims she's feeling as dizzy as Megan on a good day, and wonders if there could be internal bleeding in her head. Michael agrees to take more x-rays and stuff. Lexi drops by Peter's office, and Peter inquires as to her intentions behind introducing Rory. [Amanda Woodward Advertising]
Rory stops by again, this time to take Amanda to the race track. He claims he just bought a thoroughbred, and he wants to use it to promote a line of riding accessories, but wants Amanda's expert opinion regarding the race horse. She tells him to set up a meeting, but he grabs her hand and insists they go at once. She jerks her arm away and tells him no, causing Rory to say, "You don't guys like me, do you? I'm just a little to smooth, a little too manicured." He forgot, a little too nauseating. She doesn't know much about anything but bitches, but when she gets a phone call from Kyle talking about the Christine-saga again, she slams the phone down and agrees to go to the stables. [Upstairs Jazz Club]
Jennifer, overhearing Kyle's brief yet uninformative conversation with Amanda, asks what he found out in Dallas that was so interesting. Kyle wants to tell her all about the flag that Nick left on the wall, but due to time constraints, limits his information transfer to the fact that Taylor had been involved in this Christine-thing since the beginning, and how he plans on tearing her head off, the first instinct of any good Marine. Jennifer, supplying good advice yet a second time, tells Kyle a better tactic would be to sleep with the enemy, so to speak. Jennifer suggests that Kyle be nice to Taylor and she'll probably spill the beans, but if he's rough with her, she'll probably carry her part in the Christine-capades to her grave. Kyle looks at her for a minute or two, then says, "Hmm." [Racing Stables]
Rory takes Amanda to show her a race horse. I know we're at the race track because of the trumpet blaring in the background. Rory tells Amanda to forget about going back to work today, suggesting they hit the town after looking at the horse. Amanda whinnies. Rory ushers her into one of the stables. Then he takes Stable Boy (apparently, a late-season replacement for Leaf Blower Boy) aside and hands him some cash for sneaking them into the stables and pretending the horse was Rory's. Stable Boy is scared that the real owner will show up shortly, so he takes the money and scoots. Rory rejoins Amanda, and so much manure that starts coming out of his mouth, he gives the horse a run for its money. Rory tells Amanda he named the horse Amanda. Gag. Compared to Rory, I'm beginning to miss Billy and he hasn't even left yet! [Kyle's the Restaurant]
Michael charges into the restaurant, asking for Megan. Why she would be there is another question. But it does give Taylor the opportunity to ask Michael if he's found anything from the medical tests. He says, "Nah, you're fine." Normally, this would make a person happy, but in Taylor's case, her lips frown unmistakably. Kyle invites Taylor for a ride up the coast to check out the menu at a new restaurant. [MP, Courtyard]
Sam is going to the laundry room when she spots Jennifer returning home. She asks if she should go to the picnic. "Go!" says Jennifer. Then Sam asks if she can follow Jennifer inside and talk about it. "Come!" Jennifer barks. Next, Kyle catches Amanda returning home with Rory. Kyle raises his voice, providing some entertainment for the gossip-starved residents of the complex, as Megan, Coop, Jennifer, Sam, and Billy all gawk from their various perches. Kyle wants to know what she's doing with "Junior," but Amanda replies that it's none of Kyle's business, leading up to the line of the week when Kyle responds: "I have the right to know who my wife is dating." Ahh, only in California! [Up the California Coast]
Taylor and Kyle are walking along the sidewalk, Kyle being so sweet to Taylor that she's beginning to get a toothache. Taylor makes a gallant effort at hiding her real-life pregnancy by clasping her hands in front of her stomach as well as holding a blue shopping bag in front of her, but it does no good. She wonders why Kyle is being so nice to her. He answers that he's been going through a lot lately, and that his marriage to Amanda is over. Which shouldn't surprise anybody who watches this show, since the average couple stays only stays together approximately four weeks. Sam and Billy are actually ruining that average, but Sydney and Craig's two minute marriage helps to keep that average down. Kyle asks if he can use Taylor's shoulder to lean on. She says he can, and that she can handle it. [Imperial Hotel]
Dr. Larner is sitting at the hotel bar, engaging in his medicinal scotch on the rocks, when Michael shows up. It seems Michael set up an appointment with Dr. Larner to tell him all about the "real" Coop. He tells Larner Coop was thrown in jail for assault, had affairs with two coma patients, and is currently living with a high-rent prostitute. Larner finds this all very fascinating, especially the bit about Megan, and the interviewer asks Michael if that's her current occupation. Michael lies, saying in that household, Coop isn't the only one "on call." Dr. Larner thanks Michael for his input. [Baylor Family Picnic]
Sam arrives at the picnic, only to find out everyone thinks she's his fiancee. Doug, Jeff's smarter cousin (which isn't saying much) blurts, "So this is the future Mrs. Baylor!" Before Ernie can come over and do his share of the damage, Sam turns and tries to walk away. But Jeff's mom catches her, and starts talking as though Sam is already one of the clan. Jeff Baylor's face turns white. Sam makes a beeline for the parking lot, but Jeff catches her, then tries to apologize for his family and his own idiocy, apologizing profusely (which I'm getting sick of hearing), adding "I had no idea THEY were gonna be so pushy." Unbelievably, the very next words out of his mouth are, "I want you to marry me!" Is pushiness an inherited trait? Sam can't believe Jeff's asking a married woman to marry him. He responds by saying a lot of women would love to hear him ask them. Sam tells him to go ahead and ask them, then. She freaks out and runs away. Jeff stands there and says, you got it, "I'm sorry." Duh. [Imperial Hotel]
Coop and Megan sit down with Dr. Larner to see him off. He tells Coop he's probably one of the top three candidates, despite his personal problems. As Larner says this, he glances at Megan. Coop wants to know what Larner meant by his last remark, but the interviewer says he's got to catch his flight so he can get back to Philly to schedule the next round of interviews. While Coop goes off to settle the bar tab, Dr. Larner shakes Megan's hand, grasping her by the elbow the way so many politicians do these days, saying she seems familiar to him. Megan says she hopes to get to know him much better soon, to which Larner replies, "Not soon enough." With that, he leans in and kisses her on the cheek, and what he's doing with his free hand is anybody's guess since it's off camera in this shot. But Megan, feeling like a West Coast Kathleen Willey, refrains from mentioning this incident to Coop as he returns from the bar. [Kyle's the Restaurant]
Michael asks Taylor how her health insurance is. Taylor cringes, thinking that her head may be expanding, when it's really the other end. Michael informs her that she is pregnant. She admits she doesn't even know who the father is. She starts to go through her list of possibles, mentioning Kyle's name, then Nicks. Then Spelling throws his annual serious social issue, saying that even using condoms isn't completely safe, since that's what she used with Nick, as well as with Michael, and that abstinence is the best policy. Okay, now that that's out of the way, on with the show. Michael had hoped that Taylor didn't remember their little tryst. So, to summarize, Taylor's list of bedfellows includes Kyle, Nick, Michael, as well as every Tom, Dick, and "Harry." [MP, Billy & Sam's Apt]
Sam nervously paces back and forth in the apartment, trying to practice what she's going to say to Billy when he gets home. But when she looks out the window, she spots Billy and Jennifer entering the courtyard. Jennifer apologizes for coming on so strong, saying "I know you've been avoiding me, and I'm just afraid my big mouth has wrecked our entire relationship," when in reality, it's probably what's keeping it going. But Billy tells Jennifer he's committed to Sam, and that the two of them can never consummate the affair, well, at least consummate it a second time. Jennifer persists, however, saying she has to have it, and she'll wait up tonight for him. Jennifer pulls Billy in and starts gnawing on his tongue, while all Sam can do is watch from her window, unable to hear what Billy had to say. Sam starts panting deeper and deeper. Billy tells Jennifer he can't come over later because Sam will be home soon. Jennifer tells him to pretend like he's going for another midnight run. Billy returns to his apartment, and when he enters the bedroom, he's surprised to find Sam standing there in the dark, hands on her waist. He stutters his lines in his customary fashion, and the two engage in a brief spat. Then Sam apologizes and asks for his forgiveness, Billy ignorant as to why, and before he can even get two words out Sam grabs him and pretends he's a famous baseball jock, as the two of them fall onto the bed in Melrosian slow motion. [To Be Continued... in two weeks!] |
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