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Melrose Place
Episode #189 / Season #6
Title: "Too Romantic For Words"
Original Air Date: Monday, March 09, 1998 [Century Plaza Hotel]
Billy, lying in bed, must've played hooky from acting class the day they taught the "how to pretend you're sleeping and just woke up" technique. Supposedly sleeping, his eyelids flutter and the director yells "O.K. Pretend you're waking up!" So Billy pops his eyes open and starts mumbling something about feeling bad that he's cheating on Sam, and how he should go down to San Diego and look for her because that's where he's supposed to be. Ha! You may wonder how the heck I got all that from his indiscernible voice. Well, I turned on my Closed Captioning feature on my TV. Boy, I feel almost as stupid as Kyle McBride! Why I didn't think of this before escapes me, but it sure helps whenever Billy "speaks," that's for sure. All Jennifer asks, is that they don't look back on this as something bad. She says they can go back and pretend nothing happened. "It's our memory, and a good one... and a PRIVATE one." [The Waterfront]
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Jeff and Sam are crawling out of the hay again. Baseball boy, Baylor, appears to be making one of those super health-nut super drinks, and it sounds like he's describing the ingredients when he says, "When you're a little more conscious, there is scrambled eggs, with cream cheese and chives, toasted baguettes, strawberries, and anything else your little heart desires," when I realize, all he's holding are a couple mimosas. The perfect drink for someone barely conscious. Sam starts feasting on Jeff's body instead, saying she's got all she needs right there. Jeff moans, "I can't wait until you're Mrs. Jeff Baylor." Well, this sure turns Sam's stomach, and she hops out of bed, giving us full view of the one piece ugly black outfit she wore to bed, which looks like some sort of one piece bathing suit of the '70s. How Jeff was able to get up to bat last night seeing her wearing that thing makes me think he's ready for the majors. Sam calls Billy to find out how the awards dinner fared, but when she calls home, all she gets is their answering machine, yet she proceeds to have one of the most touching conversations between her and her husband's voice in a long time. [Amanda Woodward Advertising]
Kyle drops by Amanda Woodward Advertising to see Amanda. He notes she's been getting to work rather early these days. So early, in fact, that it must still be dark out when she gets dressed in the morning, if what she's wearing is any indication. Amanda's got one some sort of skin-color blouse, made of material which I haven't seen since seeing the women ice skaters' outfits in Nagano. Amanda tells Kyle he's mistaken if he thinks this is the place to get laid. After all, desk sex on Melrose Place went out with the passing of Jess Hanson's goatee. Kyle asks her for one more night at the club, so they can remember what they had and what they mean to each other. Or, at least to share a vodka martini. She'll promise to go, if he agrees to leave her alone. Then she tells him to get the hell out of there, and as soon as he leaves, she removes her wedding band from her finger. [Opening Credits Sequence]
Did you know, "RITZ AIR CRISPS, WHEAT THINS AIR CRISPS, AND CHEESE NIPS AIR CRISPS, GREAT SNACKING PRODUCTS FROM NABISCO" At least that's what my Captioning says. [MP Courtyard]
As Megan is leaving for her high profile job as Head Office Manager, Billy passes her, just arriving home. She comments how he must've had quite a night. Then she sees Jennifer waddle by, although I can't imagine Billy getting her sore. Megan appears shocked as she asks, "Jennifer, are you just getting home?" Jennifer growls that it's a long story and she'd rather not talk about it (and after all, she did agree with Billy to keep the issue "private"). Megan does a 180, and heads back to Jen-Jen's, who keeps the news about her and Billy about as private as she does her private parts. When Megan hears the sordid story, she gives Jennifer some advice, namely, that the last thing Jennifer wants is to be the "other woman" in a marriage. Jennifer says she loves, or at least rides, Billy better than Sam ever could. Then Jennifer gets a call from Sam, who is en route back to L.A. and wants to know what happened last night. At first, Jennifer doesn't know what to say, until she realizes Sam is referring to the banquet. Jennifer quickly informs Sam that the agency won three awards, prompting Sam to say she'll have to give Billy a congratulatory party at the office. And Sam even invites Jennifer to the party, adding, "After all, you took my place last night." "Yeah, I guess I really did take your place" Jennifer notes. Megan hears this and says, "Just know, you may never take her place." Then the two women kiss, and all I can think is, Poor Matt, what a rip! All he ever got was a hug. Regarding Megan's simple, yet powerful line, what she was implying here is that, just because Sam is being written off the show at the end of the season, it doesn't mean Jennifer should think her character is safe from getting a pink slip too. Wink! Wink! Nod! Nod! [Beach House]
Michael is just about to head off to open the clinic, complaining about how he's never going to get back on track and out of the gutter. Taylor begs Michael to let her stay at the beach house for a little while longer, afraid that Nick is still lurking out there somewhere, ready to kill her again. She gives Michael the address of the motel where Nick was staying, begging him to snoop around to verify the coast is clear. He agrees, but has to call Megan and ask her for a favor, to open the clinic for him this morning. I don't get what the point is of having an office manager open the clinic, since she won't be able to help anyone who happens to drag themselves into the place unless they need sexual healing. Still, she agrees and heads down to da 'hood. She warns Michael that he better not leave her stranded. [Amanda Woodward Advertising]
Sam whips together a party, thanking Billy for bringing prestige to the company. She asks if Amanda would like to say a something, but Amanda replies, "Not really." So Sam continues, saying it's time for the main man say a few words, "The number two man in the company, and the number one man in my life." With that, she gives Billy a peck on the lips and Billy says his few words, namely, "Hey, not in front of everybody." The crowd roars, all except for Jennifer, who happens to arrive just in time to see Sam's chicken kiss. [MP, Coop's Apt]
I'm a little confused right now (now I know what Jake went through week in and week out). Who actually has apartments here right now. Did Coop move to a new place with Megan, leaving his place free for Lexi? And does that mean, Jennifer now has the privacy she needs, just in time to have her affair with Billy? And upstairs, Kyle is back in his old place, meaning Taylor must be in the old unit that used to be Nick's, right? Do any of you really care? Anyway, regarding the scene, Peter walks Lexi to her door after some sort of giddy date they had. He tells her he feels like he's seventeen again. She says to him, "Welcome aboard!" She's a little premature with this welcome however, since this is what she should be saying after they finish kissing and head inside, which they proceed to do seconds later. [Mancini Medical Clinic]
Michael finally arrives at his clinic., only to find there aren't any patients there. Or so it seems. Megan informs him the place was swamped, forcing her to call on the services of Dr. Coop Cooper. Megan mentions something about a flu scare, prompting me to figure, this episode must've been filmed around Christmas time or something. Michael tells Coop to get out, and then tries to ask Megan out for a drink later on. Coop grabs Michael by the lapels and jams him against the wall. Megan tells them to stop. Coop tells Megan if she can't shake this piece of dirt loose, that he doesn't know what the future holds for them, and walks out. Michael asks Megan again, about the drink, but she shakes her bootie in disgust and walks out after Coop. [Upstairs Jazz Club]
The sign may be ugly, but there's no mistaking TOM SCOTT is tonight's featured jazz artist. If you still managed to miss who the musician is, I'm sorry, but not even Closed Captioning can help you, and you'll probably have to wait for Descriptive Video Service to come out for TV. Kyle can't believe Amanda hasn't shown up yet, despite promising that she'd be there. Jennifer, as quick with advice as she is dropping her drawers, tells Kyle he should just forget about Amanda and enjoy his life. Yeah, after all, she's just his wife of a whole two weeks! Kyle goes up to his office and calls Amanda at the agency again. [Amanda Woodward Advertising]
Of course, Sam and Amanda are still at the office. What, it's probably only around midnight. On this show, leaving work this early would be a sin. Of course, adultery isn't one, but go figure. Anyway, when Kyle asks for Amanda, Sam tells him to hold on a second and that Amanda is right there. Only, Amanda shakes her head violently, so Sam quickly corrects herself saying Amanda just stepped out and had to go see a rep. Even Kyle sees through this lie, telling Sam she's a "crappy liar," but what can one expect when a character transforms from Mother Teresa to Monica Lewinsky in a period of several episodes? Lying is an acquired trait. She hangs up with Kyle, then asks Amanda what kind of marital difficulties are they having? Amanda tells her to go home, and to stop poking around in her life, adding, "Aren't you busy with your affair and your own lies? I'd pay attention to that, because it'd be a shame if it got out and blew up in your face." Just some friendly advice for Sam. Jeesh, Amanda, take some Motrin why don't ya. [MP, Lexi's Apt]
Pool Boy makes his presence known, and from all the recent news, it sounds as though his character is the only one guaranteed for next season! Inside, Peter and Lexi wake up in bed together. Now is the time you think Lexi would say, "Welcome aboard," or "All aboard" with all the usual inferences that trains going through tunnels would invoke. Peter realizes he's late for work and scurries outside, where they run into Megan and Coop heading off for the office. Lexi yells to Coop, "Hey Coop, we gotta talk about some Sterling-Conway business this afternoon." Yeah, like maybe asking themselves what their business does! Amanda, dressed in her jogging duds, reminiscent of Alison Parker's old wardrobe, returns from her morning jaunt. She comments to Peter that she hopes he isn't planning on moving in since the apartment doesn't allow dogs. Then Kyle catches her, while fetching his morning paper. He tells her she made her point by not coming to the club last night, but that no matter what she does, they'll always be married and there's nothing she can do about that. Amanda tells him not to count on that and jogs up to her apartment. [Burns-Coop Medical Office]
First of all, I guess the doctors have finally agreed that having an office manager's name on their office sign lowered the class of their operation, so now the place is known officially as "Burns-Coop." Secondly, Spelling must have gotten a good deal on champagne flutes or something, since no sooner do Jeff and Sam finish sipping champagne during their breakfast in San Diego, that Coop enters the scene carrying a couple of glasses, wanting to propose a toast of his own. Coop says it's in celebration of their 6 month anniversary. Megan corrects him, saying it's more like four and a half months. I think it's more like four and a half weeks, but don't be surprised if Lips McBride gets pregnant and has a baby before the end of the month. Coop tells her they got too many relationship ghosts surrounding them, and so he's got a plan in the works that may relieve them of those spirits as they finish sipping their other spirits. [Upstairs Jazz Club]
And speaking of spirits, it seems everybody's at the bar again. Michael is there talking about the spark that still exists between him and Megan, although Jennifer tells him to wake up; that those two clowns are history and won't be back next season. Then Sam leaves a slimy trail as she slides up to the bar and orders a double gin and another dose of Jennifer's advice. She tells Jennifer that Baylor asked her to marry him, making her feel like dirt. Jennifer suggests that Sam make a choice, that she should leave him. When Sam asks who is "him," Jennifer says, "I think you should leave Billy. I think it would be best for both of you." Then Mario, Chef-Boy-Aren't-We, comes upstairs, saying he hasn't seen Taylor for a few days and is worried about her. Michael blurts, "Don't worry, she's find, O.K.?" Kyle, somewhat curious, asks Michael how he knows. Michael stutters and leaves. [Marina Del Rey]
Peter and Lexi are in the car, on their dinner date, when Peter makes a side trip. He takes her to Marina Del Rey, where he says, "Lexi Sterling, welcome home!" Yes, like any impulsive "17-yr old" would do, Peter went out and bought a new, bigger condo, for both himself and Lexi. That way, she could move out of her crappy little apt at Melrose Place. Well, it seems it's that time of the month for Lexi as well as Amanda. The girl goes into a conniption. She accuses poor Peter of trying to manipulate her, forcing her to move back in with him. The princess then demands he take her home immediately. [MP, Megan and Coop's Apt]
Coop has a big smile on his face, but Megan knows it's not due to her talents, so she asks him why the grin. He explains that he has been selected as one of twelve candidates being considered for the Hutchins Research Hospital in Philadelphia. You know, one of the most prestigious medical facilities, one rung below Wilshire Memorial on the reputation ladder. He says if everything works out, then they'll be moving to Philly. Megan wants to know what the good news is. Coop continues, by telling her a rep is flying out for the preliminary interviews, and if he makes the cut, he'll fly out there for the final weeding. If I were a betting man, I'd have you start videotaping these two short-timers because I think they'll be traveling that Rocky road to Philly by month's end. Wink! Wink! Nod! Nod! [Kyle's the Restaurant]
Kyle shows Mario a letter from Nick, saying it's an apology. Kyle starts reading it. "Kyle, I'm sorry Taylor's dead. I never meant for it to happen. -Nick" Mario gasps in a way I haven't seen since Matt left the show, while Kyle decides he had better show the police this note. But before either man could lift a foot, Taylor strolls in, barking some orders to the chef. Mario is shocked, yet happy, that Taylor is unharmed. Kyle, on the other hand, wants to know that this letter from Nick is all about. Taylor shrugs her shoulders, and says Nick has always wanted her dead, and that maybe it's just the alcohol talking again. [Amanda Woodward Advertising]
Jeff calls Sam from a pay phone. apologizing for that "Mrs. Baylor" crack the other day. Sam tells him he shouldn't have called her at work, but Baylor demands they "do lunch." Sam, thinking he said, "do it at lunch," gets all excited and runs in to tell Amanda and Billy, who are in the conference room, that she needs to go meet a "rep" about some account. Billy tells Amanda he's worried about Sam lately. Amanda assures him Sam is fine, adding "This one just slipped through the cracks." Hmm, now is Amanda referring to Sam... or Jeff Baylor? When Billy explains that he and Sam don't seem real together anymore, Amanda tries comforting him with her own trademark style, saying, "Marriage is unnatural anyway. You're born alone, you die alone." When Billy notices that Sam seems somewhat overzealous about meeting a porcelain rep, Amanda hints, "Maybe she's lying, maybe she's not." Wink wink, Nod nod. Billy, apparently catching Amanda's drift says, "You know, I forgot, I have a lunch too. See you later." [Some Outdoor Cafe]
Jeff and Sam are sharing lunch. Supposedly, this entails placing food on the end of one's tongue, and feeding it to the other without the use of fingers or utensils. Jeff goes first, saying "C'mon Sam, do it like you mean it, in front of God and everybody." Sam hesitates at first, but then dips that tongue of hers into Jeff's honey pot. [MP, Jennifer's Apt]
Meanwhile, Jennifer is waiting with open mouth, when Billy arrives. Now, I figured Billy was going to follow Sam, but instead, he follows his libido, ending up at Jennifer's place. He tells her what they did at the hotel the other night meant a lot to him. Then they have a quickie. In Billy's dictionary, this means just a kiss, but allows her to muss his hair, then he leaves. [Upstairs Jazz Club]
Taylor finds Kyle rifling through Christine's old stuff. She tries to stop him. Then Jennifer enters and says she agrees with Taylor and that Nick should stop. However, Kyle insists there must be some clue linking Nick's letter about Taylor's death to Christine's belongings, but he's been spending HOURS to no avail! Then Jennifer, without even having to think, suggests he simply look at the motel bill and the phone call ledger, call the various numbers and see where that leads. To Kyle, Jen's a genius. He sees Taylor's number on the list, as well as an unfamiliar number. Jennifer dials it, and after speaking with the guy on the other end, he finds out that the phone number belongs to a motel on Sunset Blvd and that Nick Reardon was staying there, but left a few days ago. Kyle has a sneaky suspicion all may not be kosher. Jennifer eyes read "Duh." [Jogging Path]
Michael runs up alongside Megan, who's out on a jog. He found out about the Philadelphia story, and tries to convince Megan to stay and come back to him rather than head to the East Coast with that slime ball. Megan tells him it's over, so in a last ditch effort, Michael pulls her to him and kisses her, not the most appealing idea for someone to do immediately after running and sweating and coughing up phlegm for miles. After the kiss, Megan thanks him, telling him his kiss has convinced her there is no longer a spark between them. She decides to go to Philadelphia, and if anything, solidifying Michael's chances of remaining on the show for at least one more season. [Split-Screen Telephone Conversation]
Lexi, in her crappy apartment, and Peter, in his luxurious Marina Del Rey suite, have a phone conversation, a la split-screen mode, which looks more like a commercial for cordless phones than anything else. Luckily, I realize it's not an advertisement, and I actually listen to most of what these two have to say to each other. Basically, Lexi wants to trust Peter again, and invites him over for dinner at 7:00 pm. Peter says he feels uncomfortable going to her place, but she corrects him, saying "Dinner at my NEW place. We can discuss living arrangements over dessert." Well, this is a whole different story, and Peter accepts. They hang up in unison with a melodic "beep" of their handsets. [MP, Taylor's Apt]
Kyle knocks on Taylor's door, telling her he found out Nick's been staying at a motel on Sunset Blvd and he's been in contact with Christine, and he wants to know if she knew anything about it. She claims ignorance. [Burns-Coop Medical Office]
Amanda pays Peter a visit, saying she needed to talk to a friend. Peter reminds her about the "dog" comment she made the other day. She wants Peter to prescribe something for her to get over her recent outbursts with everybody, especially Kyle, but Peter's solution is for her to talk it out with Kyle. She says it's ruined between them and she can no longer face Kyle, and begs for Peter to help her tonight. Peter says he will, and calls Lexi to cancel dinner. Poor Peter, if he only had a video phone and could see what Lexi was wearing... or not wearing, as the case may be. When Peter tells her it's because Amanda showed up, Lexi is furious, and I doubt very much this is what they mean when they say two people are hot for each other. He asks her if they can do it tomorrow night, and Lexi replies, "I'll think about it." [Mancini Medical Clinic]
Taylor tells Michael that Kyle is playing super sleuth and may find out her role in the Christine affair. He tells her to simply deny it, no matter what. "Deny, deny, deny. It's the only thing that works." I guess bad advice runs in the Mancini family. [Restaurant]
Peter takes Amanda out for dinner. She keeps harping on how she needs someone to talk to, someone to trust. Peter apologizes, and says he's hurting someone that he loves very much, and that he'll help Amanda, but not at Lexi's expense. He gets up and leaves. [Marina Del Rey]
Peter arrives home and finds Lexi still in her short satin robe. He tells her he loves her, and then, well, "loves her." That's right, he has his dessert before his dinner, in slow motion so he can savor every bite. [To Be Continued...] |
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