|
[Eric Baines' Hotel Suite]
We return to the place where Eric, Kyle, and Amanda were busy playing the human version of "Barrel of Monkeys" outside on the balcony of Eric's room. Eric finally blurts out that he and Amanda didn't sleep together, then asks politely to pull him up. Kyle turns to Amanda for confirmation. She yells, "Yes, just pull him up!" Kyle reaches over and saves Eric from dying in his bathrobe. I don't know which was wailing louder -- Eric or the electric guitar! Kyle gives Eric a swift kick while Amanda grabs his arm and suggests they get out of there and they run out of the room into the hotel corridor. If you want to see a magic trick, you don't have to wait for "Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed," the show scheduled after Melrose tonight. Just watch as Amanda seems to magically appear fully dressed and ready to leave with Kyle! As they head for the elevator, Kyle tells Amanda he can't believe she thought she could save her company by sleeping with Eric. Amanda tells Kyle he's got it ALL wrong: she was trying to save the club and restaurant, not her ad agency! Duh. Kyle presses the Down button and the elevator door opens immediately (This only shows how far fetched the writing's getting lately. When was the last time you pressed the button and didn't have to wait?) The elevator is nearly full and to the delight of the captive audience, they get to watch Kyle and Amanda bicker. "How can you prostitute yourself for any reason?" Then he goes into a verse of Suffragette City, singing "Ahhhh. Slam! Bam! Thank you, ma'am." Amanda corrects him, saying, "It's wham, not slam, you jarhead!" Amanda continues, "Eric was going to sign the papers just as soon as..." but Kyle interrupts, asking, "...you ran around the bed a few times?" [Wilshire Memorial, I.C.U.]
It's Megan's turn to lie in a hospital bed in a coma and get paid without having to act (although Billy gets to do this every week). You don't need a stethoscope to hear the pounding of Coop's heart as he stands by Megan's side, holding her hand and talking to her as if she was awake. He stares at her, visions of sticking his tongue depressor in that cute little mouth of hers, obviously dancing in his head. He tells her he had Jennifer bring a boom box and some of Megan's favorite CD's to the room explaining that music can sometimes get through to a person when words can't. He tells her he can hear a song he hasn't heard in years, probably "Girlfriend in a Coma" by The Smiths. He pops in her Joni Mitchell CD, but the music is drowned out when Michael arrives and starts yelling at a nurse just outside the room. Michael is steaming because Coop has restricted anyone, including him, from visiting Megan. Coop says that Michael and Megan are legally separated so that Michael has no rights whatsoever. On top of that, Coop states that he is Megan's doctor, although I still wonder, who died and made him boss? [MP Courtyard]
Taylor, the courtyard like a vulture, lurks by her window and when she sees Kyle leaving for somewhere, she runs out to find out what happened the night before. She asks if he caught Amanda with Eric and whether they still have the restaurant and club. Kyle barks, "Get out of my way" and leaves. Taylor, up early and without anything to do, decides to bother Amanda next. She runs up to Amanda's apartment, pretending to be there to get Kyle's underwear and other belongings. Taylor tries to find out what Amanda and Kyle's relationship is now, and Amanda accuses Taylor of spilling the beans. Taylor denies it, claiming Kyle can put two and two together. Amanda acknowledges she always felt safe having Kyle around, but has taken the necessary precautions. She heads to the kitchen and opens up a drawer, where she has conveniently hidden a revolver underneath a tray of silverware. C'mon, kitchen cabinets these days are so shallow they can't even hold a box of cereal, let alone a monster handgun underneath a bunch of forks and spoons! Anyway, Amanda explains she has the gun in case someone breaks in or is a general nuisance. She admits the gun is old, but cocks it anyway and aims it at Taylor, saying she might as well see if it still works. Taylor's lips start fibrillating and she says Amanda must have a screw loose. Amanda replies, "Then get out of my apartment before I blow that smirk off your face." (Jeesh, how could she miss?) [Mr. TUX, Rentals & Sales]
Billy and his best man Craig, with whom he had a "roll in the gutter" last week, are getting fitted with tuxedos for the wedding. Craig looks miserable and Billy wonders if Craig is getting cold feet about being the best man. Craig tells Billy that he blew it with Jennifer. While most people go after the stripper, Craig tells Billy he went after the assistant manager of the hotel, Ms. Linstrom instead. Craig explains that Jennifer caught Ms. Linstrom as she left in the morning. .Billy provides some useful insight, saying, "Oh, that's not good." Craig rambles on for a few more minutes. Billy would rather try on a cumber bun that was two sizes too small than hear another word about Jennifer and Craig, so he says, "I think you should be telling this to Jennifer" and walks off to admire one of the mannequins in the store window. [True Romance Bridal Shop]
Sam's custom-made wedding gown is ready already, faster than you could find one off the racks! Although the wedding gown is beautiful, apparently there was no time left for the bridesmaids' outfits, so Connie and Jennifer end up wearing nothing more than cream-white slips. And like Craig in the last scene, Jennifer is moping about. Connie asks Sam what Jennifer's problem is, so Sam explains how Craig dumped her because he's afraid of commitment. Connie says that Craig isn't the one and Sam agrees. Then Sam reminds Connie that she designed this gown with just a pad of paper and some watercolors. Rather than being envious of Sam, Connie takes one look at Sam in her gown and comments, "I'm envious of Billy." Hmm, maybe they should have named her character Matt-ilda instead? Connie says she's going to miss what the two of them had, reemphasizing how much by adding "...a lot." Then she and Sam embrace. With Matt, you always knew what an embrace meant, but with Connie, it's just a little too early to tell. Sam adds, "I love Billy so much that I can't even put it into words." My gawd! I just realized how much she and Billy are alike, since I bet he'd probably be just as dumbfounded if he was asked why he loves Sam. [Peter's Marina Condo]
Lexi is busy popping pills in the bathroom while dolling herself up for Peter. Spelling's notion is that only the Midwest cultivates ripe hot redheads -- Sydney, Kimberly, now Lexi. Of course, they're also connivers, psychos, or drug addicts, but that's part of their charm. Michael arrives, having been invited over for dinner. Peter says, "We may have had our beefs in the past, but when tragedy strikes, well, tragedy greater than your normal tragedy, I'm there for you." Peter asks how Megan's doing, but Michael doesn't know since Coop won't let him visit her. Michael tells Peter all about the Coop's weird behavior with Megan, how Coop spends all his time with her. Michael asks, "What next? A midnight sponge bath?" Peter thinks Coop's doing it AGAIN, namely, falling in love with a coma patient. Lexi enters the conversation, saying Coop isn't a pervert, that just lying there is normal for women in those parts. Michael wants to know what Peter meant by "again," so Peter explains that Coop fell in love with Kimberly while she was in a coma back in Cleveland. Lexi adds that Coop wouldn't even let Mrs. Shaw visit Kimberly. When Michael hears this, he makes a beeline for the front door worried that "Coop will get off on her shallow breathing." Peter catches Michael, telling him he can't just muscle Coop out of I.C.U. Peter suggests they'll get Coop away from Megan quietly, using a third party, while Lexi stands by Peter's side, looking cross-eyed. [MP, Kyle's Apt]
Amanda knocks on Kyle's door. Kyle opens it, and asks the same thing I would ask if I found a voluptuous blonde standing at my front door, "Do you know what time it is?" Amanda asks what it'll take to make Kyle forgive and forget, saying she never did anything to make him not trust her. Kyle mentions "What about finding you in bed with Baines with your clothes off?" Oh yeah. But Amanda is quick to put a spin on the situation, asking if he could forget about Eric and put that behind them. She pulls him close and starts kissing him. But this only reinforces Kyle's opinion that S-E-X sex is Amanda's answer to everything, and which is clearly the "baine" of their relationship. So before she can blow him off, he blows her off and pushes her out the door, telling her "It's over between us, Amanda." [Wilshire Memorial]
Jennifer stops by the Emergency Room and finds Michael. Forget about the guy bleeding from a drive-by shooting, she's got a real emergency... she needs a date fast for Billy and Sam's wedding. When Michael finds out that she and Craig are history, he is genuinely concerned, and he asks her if their break-up will impact the glove business. Jennifer doesn't ask for much, just a guy who's cute, straight, and has money in his pockets. She suggests being fixed-up with Coop. Michael replies, "You'd be just his type, only you're conscious." But being the good brother that he is, he adds, "Oh, I got to go. But I'll scratch your name on the men's room wall." Then Michael meets with Dr. Shulman, asking her to handle removing Coop from the case. When she hesitates, Michael asks whether she likes being chief of neurology, and reminds her she's up for review next month. Shulman does a 180 and agrees to speak with Coop. [AWA]
Billy delivers some good news to Amanda. He tells her, for some reason, all the clients are returning in to Amanda Woodward Advertising, like the swallows to San Juan Capistrano. Does this mean they'll be leaving every year too? Amanda groans. Billy tilts his head like a confused little pup. "What ever you did to counter Baines' attack worked!" Amanda groans. "I didn't do anything, but now it'll look like I did!" Billy tilts his head again. He's confused, as usual, only this time he has reason to be. She tells him to leave, adding "Oh Billy. If you hear any more good news, keep it to yourself." [Upstairs Jazz Club]
Kyle is enjoying a bottle of McBride scotch. Even though the entire contents of the club has been packed away in boxes, somehow he managed to find the ol' McBride and a couple of glasses. Suddenly, there's a flapping sound in the air. Kyle turns and sees it's coming from Taylor's lips. Taylor admits that she made a mistake with Peter and he made a mistake with Amanda, then suggests the two of them go back to Boston and try to start their lives over again. But Kyle tells her he's staying in L.A. "...for better or for worse." Sure, Kyle never took those vows seriously during his marriage, yet now those same words are keeping him in Los Angeles? This should be a hint to Taylor just how precious she is to Kyle, but the Chapstick queen still tries to reconcile with him. Finally, he reiterates the same line he said to Amanda a few scenes earlier, "It's over between us, Amanda." [MP, Kyle's Apt]
Billy goes to see Kyle because he's worried about Amanda. Billy says when he went to her office to tell her the agency had bounced back, she was, it was kind of like someone had died." Kyle asks why the turn-around. Billy hasn't a clue, so he sticks his soccer-kicking foot in his mouth by saying, "I don't know, actually. But whatever Amanda did, it worked like a charm." Kyle thanks Billy for the info. Billy gives Kyle a goofy smile and leaves. [Burns-Mancini-Coop Medical Office]
Since their medical practice doesn't seem to have many patients these days, Michael makes use of his office as a dressing room, putting on a tux for a black-tie dinner he's about to attend. Coop arrives and the two of them get into a heated argument about coma girls. Michael tells Coop to stop the weirdness. Coop responds, "Is it weird to be compassionate?" On Melrose, it's a definite YES! [MP Courtyard]
Kyle catches Amanda in the courtyard. He congratulates her on getting her agency back. She asks what he wants her to say, so he'll believe her. He answers, "I believe you'd do just about anything to save Amanda Woodward Advertising." Amanda blurts out that she loves him and that none of it means anything without his love. He just looks at her. She wishes him goodnight, then turns and retreats to the confines of castle Amanda. As soon as it's safe, the vulture swoops from her perch. She tells Kyle she hopes he didn't fall for any of that rubbish Amanda just dumped on him. Kyle leans towards Taylor's ear as if to whisper something, then gives her a push into the pool. Taylor used to like it when Kyle got her all wet, but not any more and she splashes the water in a tantrum, her running mascara making her as attractive as Marion Shaw last week. [Peter's Marina Condo]
Lexi slinks her way up to Peter, desiring some hot coffee. She tells she's been thinking about what he said, and agrees that it's time she goes out and gets a job, or something, to occupy her time. The dry cleaner boy (maybe a replacement for the pool boy or blower boy, both M.I.A. of late) drops off some of Peter's laundry. Peter doesn't have the cash to pay the kid, so he asks Lexi for $40. She yells it's in her purse, but realizes she can't let Peter open her purse or else he'll see her Diazepam. So she quickly snatches the purse from the counter and pulls a couple bills out and hands them to Peter. He looks at her like she's a wacko. [AWA]
Amanda is busy at work in the middle of the night, of course. Eric shows up, with an explanation and an apology. He finally realized that trying to force her into bed was somehow wrong, even stupid. He jokes by pleading temporary insanity, and throws himself at her mercy. Amanda reminds him he did a lot more than try to get her in the sack, mentioning the fact he destroyed Kyle's club and restaurant, putting the entire staff out of work. He tells Amanda he realized this, and that's why he gave back the agency, the club, the restaurant, and is leaving tomorrow to go back to New York. He promises to get the papers to her before he leaves. [Wilshire Memorial]
Coop pays another visit to comatose Megan, stroking her hair. He pops another CD in the player, then goes over and clasps her hand. To his surprise, and maybe dismay, it squeezes back. Just then, Michael bursts in with a nurse. He orders her to call Security, which arrive minutes later to escort Coop to his car. Michael tells Coop to stay away from his wife or he'll have him removed from the staff. Coop promises Michael he'll pay for this. Megan suddenly utters his name. Michael rushes over, saying "You really are awake." She tells Michael she remembers hearing music, someone talking to her, and someone holding her hand. Michael tells her it was him all along. He leans over and kisses her, saying this is going to be the best Thanksgiving yet. [Hotel Room]
Samantha and her wedding party are busy getting dressed for the wedding. Billy's mother gives Sam a broach to wear, which looks like it should have a matching mood ring. Mrs. Campbell explains Billy's father, her late husband, gave it to her on their wedding day. Sam thinks it's romantic, but when Connie sees the big blue thing, she 86's the idea of Sam wearing it. Sam makes up an excuse to keep from having to wear it. Mrs. Campbell takes it back, adding "Alison always loved this broach." Sam, not used to dealing low blows, tries her best by saying to Mrs. Campbell, "It's too bad for you that your son isn't marrying Alison Parker." Mrs. Parker leaves the room, saying it's alright, that she knows when she's not wanted. Once outside in the hallway, she sighs. Now we know where Billy got his self-centered gene and why it's the "late Mr. Campbell." Billy hears the sigh, runs to his mother, and asks her what's wrong. She tells him to ask the future Mrs. Campbell and leaves. Billy barges into Sam's room, despite the fact it's bad luck to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding. Billy demands to know why she hurt his mother's feelings. Connie butts in, saying that it was ugly and Sam made the right decision not to wear it. Sam can't believe the tone in Billy's voice. Connie continues by saying, "You care more about your mother than about Sam." She turns to Sam and asks, "You sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this guy?" Billy tells her the conversation is between him and Sam and for her to butt out, and Jennifer agrees, but Connie refuses, saying she'll defend Sam 'til the end of time. Craig knocks on the door, telling Billy it's show time. Billy turns to leave, adding "Let's just get this thing over with. I'll see you at the altar." Sam breaks down and starts crying, saying Billy will probably stand her up at the altar. Jennifer assures her everything will be okay, but Connie, on the other hand, continues to tell Sam she doesn't have to go through with this if she doesn't want to. Man, does Connie have a big butt or what? [Hotel Courtyard]
Amanda arrives, donning her bedroom sheets outfit. Craig escorts her to her seat. He takes her to the only seat left on the groom's side, which happens to be between Kyle and Peter. She blurts, "Oh, I'm not sitting here!" Craig replies, "Look at it this way, Amanda. You don't have to introduce yourself to anyone." TouchÈ, young Field! This is just one consequence of being fashionably late. Amanda bites the bullet and proceeds to sit down between her ex-husband and her ex-lover. Then she realizes, she also knows the bride, and most of the chairs on that side are empty since none of Sam's relatives managed to pull themselves away from Maryland and their daily staple of crab cakes. So Amanda tries to get up, but stops when she feels Kyle's hand reach for hers. Just when the two of them are starting to get cozy, Eric pops up. Kyle asks, "What are you doing here Baines?" Eric replies he's there as a guest. Actually, he picks this moment to drop off the paperwork with Amanda. Then he whispers in Kyle's ear, that for the record, he and Amanda did sleep together and she loved every minute of it. Eric then says to Amanda, "It was a pleasure doing business with you," although to Amanda, it was more like a business doing pleasure with him. The wedding begins, the organ starts playing, and the bridesmaids head down the aisle. Amanda turns to Kyle and says, "Whatever he said, it's a lie." Kyle asks, "Then why would he sign those papers? Oh man, I am such an idiot." If Kyle thought he was an idiot then, just wait until the spectacle he makes of himself as he tries to run out from the wedding. He chooses to leave by running down the main aisle, against the bridesmaid traffic, and knocks the bouquet of flowers from Jennifer's hands in the process, making a complete fool of himself. Kyle runs out to the parking lot and catches Eric before he can get into his limo. He decks Eric, then grabs the driver and tells him when he gets to the airport to throw Eric curbside along with the other baggage. I don't know about you, but I think Eric needs to hire himself some new goons. Amanda runs over, yells to Kyle he's ruining everything, then goes to see if Eric is alright. Kyle wishes the two of them well. [Wedding Reception]
Luckily, we're spared the agony of having to watch Billy and another wedding ceremony, but unfortunately, we're not spared the Herb Alpert music at the reception. Craig leans over to Sam and Billy and tells them they're supposed to have the first dance. Sam says she doesn't feel much like dancing, and Billy admits he feels the same. But, always the romantic, Billy blurts to Sam, "What the heck. C'mon." He takes Sam by the hand and the two hit the dance floor. Of course, as soon as they start dancing, Billy whispers in Sam's ear, "I think you owe my mom an apology." End of dance. End of honeymoon. Later on during the reception, Peter and Lexi are tripping the light fantastic. Lexi is really ripping up the dance floor, hanging all over Peter, who can't take the heat and has to head to the bar for a drink. Lexi, still on fire, starts jiggling her body at a male passer-by who can't pass up that sort of offer and proceeds to gyrate his body against hers, while Peter and Coop watch from afar like a couple of voyeurs. Coop warns Peter that Lexi's behavior may be influenced by things he doesn't know about. If I were Peter, I would worry more about the job Lexi's been talking about getting, because the way she's dancing, that next job may very well be at the Body Shop on Sunset Blvd. It may have been my imagination, but I think I even saw a dollar bill or two flung her way while she was out there. [Wilshire Memorial]
Michael releases Megan and is wheeling her out of the hospital. He plans to take her back to the beach house. She feels it might be easier if she simply stays with Jennifer, but Michael insists, saying he cooked a 10-lb turkey on the stove for her. I can just see it, next week Megan will be back in the hospital with trichinosis. They leave as Coop runs to nurse Amy, asking where Megan is. Nurse Amy informs him Michael released her. Coop runs towards the elevator but stops short realizing there's nothing he can do now. Instead, he quickly sticks both his hands deep into his pocket, and thinks about the memories he had being with Megan while she lay unconscious. [Wedding Reception]
Jennifer is slow-dancing with some dweeb who is running his hands up and down her arms. Jennifer notices Craig is watching, so she lets the guy continue. Craig heads over to Connie, and informs her it's customary that the maid of honor dance with the best man. Connie tells Craig, "This isn't the army," which makes no sense. Then she adds, "And you're not my type." Could you please repeat that, Matt-ilda, I mean, Connie? Sam finds Mrs. Campbell sitting alone at one of the tables. She tries to apologize, but before she can, Billy's mother says, "You better keep an eye on him. You're not the his first love of his life, and you won't be the last." Then she toasts Sam, "Here's to my current daughter-in-law. May your marriage last longer than the first one. Or am I not allowed to mention Brooke either? Just you don't wear your high heels around the pool." She's got a bigger foot than Billy! Connie sees Sam run out, so she goes over to Billy on the dance floor and says, "Now that you're married to Sam, I thought you should know, your wife's crying." Billy goes out to find Sam and hands her a napkin. He does his daily dose of apologizing. Sam says his mother hates her. He doesn't get it, but keeps on saying he's sorry. She asks if he's sorry for marrying her. He says no, they kiss, and all is well. [Peter's Marina Condo]
Lexi is hanging all over Peter. He wonders why she's high as a kite, considering she didn't have much to drink at the reception. She says she's just high on him, then goes out to the car to get the sweet potatoes she smuggled from the reception. While she's out, Peter finds her purse and rifles through it, where he finds her Diazepam container and Cooper's name as the prescribing physician. [MP Courtyard]
Kyle arrives home, sloshed. Probably had his share of alcohol as well as Lexi's. He looks up at the light in Amanda's window, grabs a potted plant and throws it against the wall. Then he stumbles over to Taylor's door and knocks on it by banging his head against it several times, proving this jarhead ain't made of glass. Taylor opens the door, but tells Kyle her ego isn't up for another rejection. But before she can finish her sentence, Kyle opens up her bathrobe, feasts his eyes on her Wonder bra, and says, "I want what you've wanted for months!" He pushes Taylor onto the couch and they start their Thanksgiving feast a few days early. [To Be Continued...] Last Modified November 25, 1997 |
|
